#jews of tumblr if your family was from any of these places please let me know

[crunchsomebones]

sometimes I think about the neighbours I never got to meet. in ostrowiec, or rodom, or dankev. all of the places we were kicked out of or fled from because we are jewish. I think about how there might have been a family next door to mine, a hundred years ago, who now live in Australia, or Brazil, or South Africa. or maybe that family is dead, their last name nothing but an engraving on a headstone, in a town where the only jewish things left are the gravestones. maybe they didnt even get a gravesite. and we could have grown up together. I could have gone to synagogue with their grandchildren. we could have shared a cemetery. I could have known you, once. maybe I'd see you around town sometime, just as a passing familiar face. maybe we were best friends. I think I would have liked that.

[gryficowa]

Boycott!

What happened in Germany is unfortunately what I was talking about, insisting that every Jew is a Zionist (i.e. supporting Israel INCLUDING HIS CRIMES) leads to increased anti-Semitism, LET'S SEPARATE IT, NOW

Zionism is an ideology like Nazism, if calling every German a Nazi is xenophobic, then recognizing that every Jew is a Zionist IS FUCKED AT THE SAME LEVEL

(I'm guessing that many people who committed this vandalism are right-wingers, unfortunately, as I mentioned, radical feminists attach themselves to leftist movements and give them a bad reputation…)

Only when I decide that these are mine will it only be when it turns out that the author is a Zionist (Vandalism is still bad, but if the author supports war crimes, that's a different topic… Although I don't have such information, and the monument was supposed to represent non-Jewish women fighting for Jews against Nazis, at least as far as I understand it, English is not my first language, so you understand, sus, it looks more like a cannon of the right-wing side which, as usual, chose the left-wing movement, because as fucked-up people they have to poison everything)

Unfortunately, the right-wing side has learned to disguise itself well over the years and it's fucking fucked up. Moreover, many right-wingers think that Hitler was a leftist, and that says a lot… It's just that right-wingers take something left-wing and then decide that these "Right-wingers" they are leftists… This can be seen in the case of pinkwashing/homonationalism, many right-wingers pretend to support LGBT+ people to gain their recognition, but at the same time dehumanizing Muslims and immigrants themselves, and this is a red flag…

Probably many decades from now they will consider Netanyahu a leftist because he supported LGBT+ (Believe me, this shit has been going on for years) and they will attack people reacting to fascism (What has already happened, as usual, people wake up most when it comes to war crimes and it's depressing feature of fascism)

Always those who fight fascism are the real enemy of society…

Now that I have your attention:

[malkaleh]

List the titles/filenames/descriptions of your WIPs and tell us a little bit about them/wail about them/beg for inspiration/whatever you want! Then tag some people for a no-obligation mutual wailing/cheering/complaining session!

I thought I’d go through these (including simply ‘this is a vague idea’ ones) and if people want to ask questions/encourage more then I am delighted to answer/babble more etc. Fandoms include The Witcher, Ted Lasso, The Tudors and some crossovers. 

The Tudors

Golden World: This is The Tudors OT3 Cinematic Universe, well it’s what would be the second series/sequel to The Tudors TV Show in that universe. Beginning from 1547 to [redacted] it introduces Mihrimah Sultan which is really the most important part ;), some new villains, the Boleyn-Tudor-Cromwell kids growing up, some politics and some setting up of history. This is about the start of the truly golden world that Tommy and Mihrimah will build, about family and love and different kinds of fairytales still being fairytales, still being true love. It’s also really stalled due to brain issues. If anyone has music suggestions for ‘fairytale happy ending true love but also your trauma remaining does not mean you are not worthy of love’ vibes please feel free to send them to me. (It’s really hard to describe as a vibe but - it’s fairytales, it’s mythology, it’s the happy ending and the genuinely progressive golden world and government but it’s also trauma remains, it’s also that there are forces against it, it’s decency and kindness in the fierce defence of the good)

Let Us Dream: The pretty much should mark as unfinished permanently modern au Tudors OT3 which I cannot work out how to end. I have been thinking of deleting it and starting over except there are bits I really love - it was sort of meant to be a fic that was like an in universe romance novel modern au of the in universe historical triad because I thought that would be extremely fun - it may still happen. 

Lucky Stars & Moon: Modern Royalty AU, in which basically Prince Henry scandalises everyone by becoming involved with two biracial jews, one of whom is a man and refuses to not marry them - told in snippets of media mostly because I love multimedia fic. Stuck due to not having any graphics making inspiration (I think I need some tutorial recs honestly) but oh did I have some fun. Unofficial title is ‘fuck the daily mail’ to give you an idea. 

Into The Fire: What If All Of Henry’s Silbings Lived, they all got on except they have an (evil) older half brother who they have to overthrow - inspired by an @quillington fic, Game of Thrones and The Scarlet Pimpernel. Also has an extremely self indulgent offshoot that takes place In Space and only lives in my head. Also features KOA who got forcibly married to the evil older brother but who made sure Arthur was the father of her children and is going to kill the evil older brother. Sort of if Cersei was on the side of the Starks and Martells basically…which is now an AU I want to read just because it would be DELIGHTFUL. 

A Queen Twice Over: It’s an AU of a fic and uh, I need to figure out where the hell I am going with if at all. (The original fic premise is that Henry’s sister Mary marries Francis I and Henry’s second wife is not Anne). 

Dark Mirror: exists entirely in tumblr bits - an AU of my OT4 fic Consorts in which Everything Is Terrible. Henry and KOA listen to Norwich, Anne and Thomas die in exile and then Norwich, dying tells the truth in such a way as that everyone will hate Henry and KOA because he enjoys causing maximum emotional trauma. 

Queen of Blood: Mary made the choice to side with Norfolk in It’s Always Darkest, took the throne for herself and it ended with both her mothers dead, but Mary has the throne! And revenge on her father! And Thomas Cromwell is dead and okay, her brothers have disappeared but she’s sure they are in exile or the church right? Right? It ends up that Mary gets everything she thought she wanted but oh fuck. And then she gets overthrown by her it turns out still living half siblings. 

Thirteenth Doctor Meets The Tudors (OT3 verse): basically just Thirteen/Anne Boleyn in France. Being Bisexual. 

The Stitch In Time Tudors OT3 Episode: I’m actually working on sketching out a whole fictional outfit for this. I will get it right, I swear. It’s Le Morte De Arthur inspired by Nimue, Lady of the Lake/Queen of Avalon Tudor Sort Of But Not Cosplay from the end of It’s Always Darkest 

Tudors OT3 Cinematic Universe picture books in universe (based on the fact that Henry Tudor absolutely told his kids stories about how their parents met)

More fictional academic content etc 

More multimedia content in general and also specifically some of the promo ideas I have. 

Anne and Thomas get married first. 

Queen Askala I: or the in universe English Civil War

Restorationists: their entire UGH. 

The Modern English Royal Family In Universe: just content in general about a loving family who does good and pays a fuckload of taxes. 

Exile AU: exists in various forms - the common thread is that Henry decides to exile Anne and Thomas or causes them to have to leave the country and then regrets it dot gif. 

The Witcher

Witcher Narnia: because I wanted to write a couple of things. There’s the story of Calenthe, the complex warrior queen last queen of Narnia before the White Witch and her consort Eist and how Narnia falls. And it’s a tragedy, it absolutely is - it’s also about how much Calenthe loves her family and her country. And then the story of how Geralt, who works in the White Witches Narnia hunting rogue dark creatures on the moors and is regarded with suspicion by all sides finds two human sisters (Ciri and her little sister Triss) in Narnia and cannot turn them in, finds out they have an adult half brother (Jaskier) and sister (Yennefer). And the prophecy goes from there. I think. 

Witcher Hunger Games: there are several WIPs I have - it draws from both @lorata and @kawuli ‘s Hunger Games universe and their gorgeous world building and OC’s and was sparked by the fact that Witcher Training really made me think of District Two. Also is very much in the same universe as @shes-a-voodoo-child Victor Calenthe. Written as a very self indulgent comfort AU with District 2 Geralt, District 10 Yen and Tiss, tiny baby ‘won at 12 without killing anyone’ Triss (guess my id character) and a lot of found family. And trauma. Currently also have Victor Jaskier bits, bits of Yen/Geralt/Jaskier foundations, Tiss and her games, Yen’s origin story and Triss And Her Trauma. 

Witcher Tortall: this really only exists because I was like ‘oooh Yen has PURPLE EYES’ - it only exists in Tumblr Posts and is very niche but I kind of love. 

Meet Cute On Set: in which the Tudors OT3 Cinematic Universe The Tudors TV show is being filmed, Jaskier has the biggest role of his career in it as Someone, Geralt is the horse wrangler, Yen the costume designer and Romance Happens. 

Fic Set In An @ruffboijuliaburnsides fic that features Triss: this is also purely id fic about found family or ‘what if a little girl like I was got adopted by all of my favourite characters and was loved’ a continuing series ;). 

Ted Lasso

The Ted Lasso Tudors: basically it’s a lot of a Knights Tale vibes. There’s going to be a grand football tournament (I’m putting the establishment of football teams earlier in history than I believe they were) to celebrate the marriage of Tommy and Mihrimah, Lady Rebecca is going to make sure the team she got from her now ex husband (she got the marriage annulled) fails to wound him (I’m not entirely sure why exactly etc) and she’s going to do it by hiring as their trainer/coach the unlikely teacher at a Midlands School who has run their darts/archery team. Except FUCK HE iS REALLY KIND. 

Jamie Fic: might be continued into the trial etc. 

Misc

Make Better Choices Ozorne: aka Spymaster Ozorne AU in which by the time of Wild Magic Ozorne (who chose a different path) is married to Numair and Varrice, they have kids and he’s the unofficial spymaster in Tortall after dramatically swearing a blood oath. 

One in which Ozorne says that if Numair stays with him then he will swear to peace etc. 

Ozorne POV: or the immortals from Ozornes POV in the vein of some fic I have posted already on AO3

Tagging (if you wish): @varlaamsdarkventures @jackironsides @ruffboijuliaburnsides @bibliothekara @allegoriesinmediares @shes-a-voodoo-child @empirics @eurosthewanderer @beatrice-otter 

[docholligay]

These are messy, disorganized, and ANGRY thoughts for Holocaust Remembrance Day (Israel) .I don’t get sad about this, I get fucking angry. If there’s anyone I could insult, or blame, that would hurt your feefees, I highly, highly recommend you not click on this. I am not responsible for how you feel. Got it? 

Given the preamble I feel I shouldn’t have to say this, but do NOT reblog this, I’m not having this conversation with some 21 year old with an anime icon who’s never met me. 

There’s a cloud over every Jewish head, and it’s always the goddamn crematorium. 

Today is Holocaust Rememberance Day.  I light a yahrzeit candle every year, and I say Kaddish, every year, and I always do it alone, because I think if God wanted me to have minyan to say it with he shouldn’t have let so many of us die. 

One third of the Jewish population on earth was murdered. Think of three Jews you know, if you even know of three of us, and imagine that one of us, gone. Imagine your friend’s Jewish family of six, and imagine knowing that soon it will be four. Imagine. 

It was worse in some places. In Poland, it was ninety percent of us. A family of ten, with one left, that was the story of the Polish Jews, told over and over again. 

But get over it. It’s fine that we’re talking about the collective trauma of an indiscriminate virus, of the idea of losing ten percent of us, but losing one third of your people is something that you shouldn’t be pulling out anymore. Never mind that we were directly targeted, never mind that this was not the first time and will not be the last that the call to arms is against us specifically. Jews just love to complain. The trauma should be long past. 

And I think the numbers were inflated anyway, and other people were killed too, it wasn’t just the Jews. Never mind that the numbers probably are inaccurate as some of us were mowed down into ditches in Poland by the side of the road, and who knows how many there were, never mind that in Russia they lacked equipment and hired farmers to drown us by hand, and they happily took the money. Never mind that I sat in a second grade classroom as we passively discussed how people wanted to murder me, and how my teacher reduced it to a few hours where kids with brown eyes weren’t allowed to use the water fountain. Never mind that they burned us, against our laws. 

“Jews never stop bringing up the Holocaust” but my great grandmother only ever said of Ukraine, “There is nothing left.” I knew she meant no one, but that to say that was too hard. Better to think of the buildings, of the oxen. 

People love dead Jews. Dead Jews can be exactly the pawn you need them to be, proof of whatever it is that you’re saying is right, and it was the way the other guy thinks that killed the Jews. It’s so easy to make someone the big bad, to remember Jews as weak and simpering mice who simply went to their deaths. That’s how people like us, weak, and dead, a cliff note in history. Something to be used.

They accuse us of relying on the Holocaust, but I’ve spent my whole life watching goyim trot it out whenever they fucking feel like being dramatic. Poor Anne Frank is never going to know rest, the spectre of a child who never got to discover who she was and so is the most convenient Jew of all. Her father was criticized for stripping out parts of her diary that contained sexual thoughts, but he knew what I know, that to make Jews worth protecting, we must be stripped of inconvenience, or complication, or difficulty.  As long as we keep burning, there will always be something to keep them warm. So long as we can be refined to the pile of ash they can mix with any material they wish to build their argument. 

Live Jews are inconvenient. They are a messy and complicated and difficult people. They can still fuck up. They can, and will, disagree with you, with each other, and they won’t be quiet about it. Sometimes, we’re unkind to each other! I more than once have accused another Jew of being judenpolitzei, of siding with those who would let us be destroyed for their own ends. On both side of the aisle. We don’t behave. Supporting us doesn’t give you enough points. 

I can hear the crackling, the burning. It’s been in my chest since I was a child, 

I’m so angry, all the time. Anger has been my bondage for years and years, and I try to remind myself that anger can itself be a form of idol worship, and that anger can cause us to become something we don’t want to be. 

Besides, Jews aren’t allowed to be angry. We’re supposed to be quiet and agreeable and patient, and nod along with however the right or the left wants us to be. We have to have the right opinion on Israel, on the mining of our culture, on Anne Frank, on the Holocaust and its causes, on what is Anti-Semitic, and these are the same for the right or the left. All these topics, a goy will tell you how you should think, and Jews that agree with them are the good Jews to protect, and Jews that disagree with them are the bad Jews. I am fucking tired of only deserving protection when I’m agreeing with someone. 

I remember a few years ago, Giles Coren, a Jewish English food writer of Polish extraction, getting into trouble for saying, essentially, “fuck the Poles’. Essentially but also, literally. I remember reading that, and how immediately I thought that he had told one of our secrets, and it was terrifying and gratifying all at once. I’ve been in Jewish groups more than once where someone quietly admitted “I don’t care what happens to Poland,” the names of every family member they would never know unsaid.  I remember feeling pride at how hard Coren went, how he got nasty, how he was angry, how he brought up that the Holocaust was so successful in Poland because Poland already hated Jews. It my first time ever seeing that bitterness, that desire to hit back, to be filled with that flame. Not making it a quiet secret.  I went and found the direct quote from the whole thing that stuck with me forever, because I knew it was true, and I knew it was what would happen when the whole thing started. "I wrote in passing that the Poles remain in denial about their responsibility for the Holocaust. How gratifying, then, to see so many letters in The Times in the subsequent days from Poles denying their responsibility for the Holocaust." He was so angry. People hated him for it. 

I remember being afraid, too. Shut up, Giles. This is going to come back to bite us in the ass. We aren’t allowed to do this. We aren’t allowed to hate the people that murdered us, even though some of them are still alive, even though Poland murdered the survivors who came back. We aren’t allowed to be angry about it. We have to be good Jews. We have to say we forgive them, oh how they fetishize survivors who say they forgive. Please, don’t tell them about that burn inside of us, like whiskey in your chest. Don’t tell them my great grandmother watched Russia’s horrors unfold with a smile on her lips. Don’t tell them she said they got what they deserved. We aren’t allowed. 

Don’t get angry about America sending a ship full of refugees back in 1939, don’t get mad about Ireland only letting in refugees who agreed to convert, calm your fury about Jewish children being taken into Catholic homes, never to be returned to Jewish communities. The British government stopping a trade that would have saved a million Jewish lives. Of course it’s tragic. But there’s no need to be angry. There’s no need to yell. There���s not need to shame anyone over their culpability. 

We have to cry about what happened to us. We are not allowed to rage about it. 

Besides, if it’s everyone against you, you cannot be mad at the whole goddamn world, Holligay. 

There’s a part of Indecent, a play tumblr and facebook reduced to “lesbians!!” while completely missing the point of what it was about, about Jewish identity and struggle, the search of legitimacy and the role of stories. Sholem, the writer, goes into a deep depression, and is sitting in a doctor’s office, while all of them are acting like this is so clinical, and he snaps. How can he not be like this, in a world where to be a Jew is to be like this? I felt that same flush, that acknowledgment of fury, of the world never getting it. 

Even writing this, I feel I’m letting some secret out. They’ll hate us if they know.  They’ll hurt us if they know. Smiling Anne Frank, who believes people are truly good, that’s what we have to be. Shut up, Doc. This is going to come back to bite us in the ass. 

I light the yahrzeit candle and realize there’s no match in my hand, that somehow it has been kindled from my own anger, from my own white-hot hate. It burns me, too, and the pain of it pricks my eyes with tears. I do not often generalize, about Jews. This is because I actually know them, and we evade an easy box to be put in. We are an asterisk of a people. But I guarantee damn near every Jew you know has this burn inside them, that they might not even themselves understand. Maybe it’s quieter in Jews who got out early, whose families don’t carry the burden of knowing there’s a burnt patch of earth where your family stops. But I don’t think so. 

I think we all know it could happen to us, at any time. And every goy who thinks they are so brave would do nothing in the face of true danger. They would turn you in without a second thought, because that’s what their families did. 

I guarantee some of y’all reading this have your back up right now. Why is she so angry at people who could not have themselves done it? Isn’t she just as bad? Shouldn’t she just let it go? 

Exodus tells us that children and their children will be punished, to the third and fourth generation, and if all God can scrape up is my anger as a punishment, 

My rage is inconvenient to me, too. I tell myself things of all the Jewish philosophers I’ve read, about how we must love mercy, about how the world is desperate need of our loving attention, about how rejoicing in someone’s pain and failure is to spit in the face of what God has made us for. I tell myself these things all the time. I want to find a place where I can hold the truth of this anger, and not let it burn those who hold the community shame of the past. I want to use this fire to warm, and not to burn.

But I will also be honest with you. 

I do not want to hear a single solitary argument against my anger from any Non-Jew. 

You set me on fire. Now you have to let me burn.

[psycheswritings]

Nothing’s Fair in Love and War - Six

Title: Nothing’s Fair in Love and War

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Daphne Scott (OFC)

Warnings: Swearing.

Word Count: 4022

Author's Note: Hello, people! Here we are with a brand new chapter. A few warnings before we begin (or after, because is basically information about somethings mentioned during this chapter and it could be interpreted as spoilers, so it's up to you): 1. I know that according to the audio of "The Ballad of Tommy Shelby" the boys enlisted in 1915, but as @andtherewerefireworks​ pointed out, this doesn't fit with the historical facts and informations given by the show (as a lot of other thing's don't, but apparently Steven doesn't give a fuck about it - don't let me get started) so I ignored this piece of information - the boys enlisted in 1914 instead and the world makes sense again; 2. I did some research to know more about military nurses and took a poetic license to ignore the age that was permited for women to enlist at the time; 3. Kugel really is a Jewish dish and I am shamelessly entertaining my headcanon that Alfie does, in fact, cook/bake. Sorry, not sorry. 4. Have I mentioned that sometimes I hate Steven? Because I do. There were somethings that took me a lot of time to figure out between episodes 04 and 05 of the third season and I am still not sure about somethings, so if you feel confused about something you're more than welcome to come talk to me and I can explain it.

Fair warning, as always, if you find any mistakes feel more than free to report back to me; warnings are expecific for each chapter; and your feedback is always appreciated (given the fact that this is a sideblog, answers always are in the name of my main one thanks to dumb Tumblr - @myplaceofheavenorhell​). Also, if you haven't read my "BIG ANNOUNCEMENT" post (I really don't blame you), please, start following me on @amysteryspot​.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Summary: Alfie and Sabini make amends and join forces to get rid of the Peaky Blinders. Daphne and Polly have a very pleasing evening and Tommy goes visit May to ensure that things are going according to his plan, only to be met with a question he doesn't want to answer.

Masterlist

Six

Alfie Solomons was never known for a man who has a lot of patience, no, people tend to think that he actually has none at all but that is far from the truth. God knows that he had to have a lot of fucking patience to get where he is now, Alfie is a man who is always waiting for the right moment to do the things that would benefit him the most. And that was what he was doing right now - waiting to see if the decision he has made would, in fact, bring him any good.

The doors of the bakery were opened by two of his men and Sabini came into view - the italian flag on his hands, three of his men behind him and his second in command, Matteo, with a white flag by his side. They approached each other, the Jew gave the Italian the basket of bread that was immediately passed over to Matteo, before he stepped closer to Alfie giving him the standard three kisses on the checks as a form of greeting.

“I can’t help but notice that there is a presence in absence here today. Isn’t Miss Scott joining us?” Alfie was kinda expecting that since the Italian seemed to have a soft spot for the young woman, but the question almost made him frown for entirely different reasons. Daphne had left hours before to go to Birmingham and meet with Polly Gray, she didn’t knew about the meeting or his plans but somehow that didn’t make Alfie worry less about her like he thought it would.

“Daphne is out in another appointment. Just us today, so let's talk, eh?” Sabini shared a look with Matteo before nodding to Alfie guide them through the bakery. The Jew sat on one side of the table with Ollie by his side, cane propped up in front of him, his hands resting on top of it, while Sabini and Matteo did the same at the other side, their men behind them and a menacing silence filling the room until the Italian leader spoke.

“Did you know they was going to take the Eden club?”

“I know about the Eden club, yes.”

“Did you know they were going to do it before they did it? Because that's the one who's in charge, isn't it? The one who knows before it happens.”

“I know what I know, you know. If you don't know, then you don't fucking know, do you?”

“Did you know they was going to take Wimbledon dogs? Harringay? The trotting tracks?”

“Talk, all right? I genuinely want to hear you.”

“You've lost control, Alfie.” Matteo was the one to talk, making Alfie look at him in concealed anger.

“Have I?”

“Everybody knows.” The Italian added.

“Talk to me, Alfie.” Sabini said, interrupting the argument and making Alfie’s attention go back to him again.

“Talk to you?” The Jew paused for emphasis. “All right, I'll talk to you. I'll fucking tell you how it was, right? What happened was this. All the time you were talking about dirty fucking Jews. All the fucking time - dirty fucking Jews, dirty Kikes, dirty dustbin lids…” The Italian leader shared a look with Matteo again.

“Everyone makes jokes.”

“You want to talk about not getting into places?”

“Everybody makes fucking jokes. I didn't know you had no sense of humour!”

“And I ain't going to FUCKING mention, right, the great big fuck off elephant in the room.” Sabini closes his eyes for a brief moment before talking again.

“Look, Alfie…”

“How many of my bookies worked Epsom this last May? None. None. Not one.”

“So, for a few fucking jokes and Epsom, you fucking invite a tribe of savages into the city and just fucking unlock the fucking gates!” While Sabini is yeeling and gesticulating frantically with his hands Alfie is just sitting there, not even bored by it.

“I'm sorry, what are you saying, mate?”

“I'm saying I'm sorry about the Jew thing.” To say that Sabini seemed bothered by his own words would be an understatement because he was completely put off by it, to Alfie’s deepest contentment.

“Are you saying you're sorry?” Patience, patience always paid back in kind.

“Yeah.”

“You're sorry about the Jew thing?”

“Yeah.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“I want that in writing.” He turned to Ollie. Write that down. He said, ‘I'm sorry’.” Looking at Sabini again he continued. “And also write down that all our bookies can go back to Epsom.”

“He didn't say that.” Matteo barged in.

“Who's asking you?”

“No. Write it down. It's all right. Come on. Alfie's an old friend.”

“My friend.” The Jew gangster says while staring at Matteo and pointing at Sabini.

“Now, admit it, the Peaky Blinders is out of control.”

“Yeah, they're out of fucking control, mate. They come down the canal, they spread like the fucking clap.” Although the kind of problem that the Blinders have gotten to the Jew were ones fairly different, the Italian didn’t needed to know.

“Right. So now they're everybody's problem.”

“Yeah.”

“Alfie.”

“Mm.”

“You and me, we've been fighting since we was at school.”

“Yeah.”

“All right? Now, also, we've been friends.”

“Mm, yeah.”

“You know, it goes backwards and forwards. How much better is it when we're friends?”

“Oh, it's much better, mate, yeah.”

“You write that down.” Ollie looks at Alfie that just nods at the younger man.

“So what we're doing here, right, is we're writing down some kind of a deal thing, right?”

“Yeah, a written deal.” 

“Written deal, good. Well, why don't we discuss the border between the Italians and the Jews going back to Farringdon Road.”

“Farringdon Road”

“Yeah, Farringdon Road.”

“Fuck! That's ancient history.”

“Write down Farringdon Road.”

“No, no, no, write down Camden Road.”

“Farringdon Road.”

“Camden Road.”

“Write down Farringdon.”

“Camden.”

“Farringdon.”

“Camden. Write down Camden Road.”

“Just write down ‘peace’. Just write down ‘peace’, right, between the Jews and the Italians.”

“And war against the gypsies.” Alfie just grumbles to the statement, thinking to himself about how Daphne will react when she discovers his plans. It certainly won’t be pretty and for the first time in a long while the Jew gangster starts to rethink his actions.

  *******************************************************************************************

Daphne was waiting at the parlour in the Shelby family home on Watery Lane, the youngest Shelby was the one who guided her there saying that his aunt was coming in a minute and then leaving her alone since Josiah had chosen to wait for her outside, in the car. The young woman took off her coat and hang it on the coat rack on the wall just beside the front door, deciding to take a look around instead of sitting down.

There were a lot of photographs hanging on the walls and on top of the furniture, most of them were of the Shelby’s children growing up. Daphne recognized a young Ada and a little Finn in one of them, just beside the fireplace there was a photograph of each one of the Shelby siblings but what caught her attention almost immediately was the portrait of the three eldest Shelby boys in their uniforms. Her fingers automatically went to her locket, caressing the metal as a way to soothe her own thoughts.

“They were taken just before they left.” She must have been really distracted because she only noticed that her hostess arrived when she was already closing the door, taking off her own coat and approaching her. The gipsy woman noticed that Daphne was yet again playing with the necklace hanging from her neck. They shook hands before the both of them turned to look at the images again. “I’m sorry for making you wait, there were things that needed my attention.”

“Don’t bother, I’ve had only been here for minute.” Silence filled the room but unlike what Daphne expected it wasn’t a discomfortable one.

“It feels like it was a lifetime ago.” There was this hint of sadness that Daphne knew too well when people who had loved ones on the war usually had when talking about that period.

“And at the same time it seems like it was yesterday.” Polly looked at her then, surprise in her features.

“You’ve been there.” Daphne took a deep breath, not looking at the woman beside her when she spoke.

“Yeah. Whole four years of it.”

“My God, you must have been only a child when it started.” The young woman felt quite amused by the motherly concern in Polly’s voice.

“Eighteen.”

“You’re almost John’s age then. He was nineteen when he left. Arthur was twenty seven and Thomas twenty four.” When Daphne looked at her still observing the pictures there was a hint of a smile on her face. “They were so different, so full of life.”

“None of us came back the same. We all left a part of ourselves there.” As her hand rested in her chest, feeling the all too familiar form of her locket through the fabric Daphne thought that she certainly had lost a part of herself there, a part of her that she would never recover.

“You sound like Tommy.” Daphne smiled at that, shaking her head briefly while Polly observed her with a mixture of admiration and curiosity.

“It’s not the first time that I hear it.”

“Come, I will make us some tea.” They headed themselves to the kitchen were Daphne sat at the table while Polly walked around preparing things for the tea. When the pot was ready she served them both a cup and sat down.

“You’ve caused quite the impression on the boys.” Daphne quietly sipped on her tea. She didn’t know what to expect of the encounter, what she did knew was that Polly was baiting at her, getting her out of her comfort zone to see how she reacted and further analyze her especially now that Alfie wasn’t around. But one thing that Daphne have learned from experience was that people involuntary let their guard down at home and even knowing that Polly had another house to call her own now, this was the one she passed most part of the time in still, the one where she lived most part of the last years and the one she still called home.

“A good impression, I hope.” The gipsy woman looked at her, smirking slightly, the action a little warmer than the cold demeanor that she had showed on the party.

“Ah, it was good just alright! I think Arthur is still teasing John for trying to flirt with you.”

“He had it coming.” Polly laughed, really laughed and Daphne couldn’t help but smile too.

“He sure did, but I gotta say that he is not used at being rejected. None of them are, really.” The young woman choose not to answer that, just smiling and sipping at her tea again and Polly decided to change the subject. “You and Ada know each other for long?”

“Yeah, it’s been a while. Before Freddie fell ill.”

“You’ve met him?” Polly was surprised that the two women knew each other for that long.

“Once or twice, he was more running from the coopers than at home.” Polly scoffed at that, getting up to take the food and put it on the table. “You didn’t approved of them.” It wasn’t a question but Polly answered anyway.

“Freddie was a good man, I just wish that he knew how to prioritize his family instead of the cause.” Daphne nodded in understanding, since she befriended Ada she had had quite some debates with herself about the way the Thorne’s lived. It was hard for Daphne to understand how Ada accepted living on the run because of love, her parents were not exactly the image of true love - an arranged marriage, like the one she was supposed to have if she hadn’t gone to France - even though she believed that her mother had loved her father at some point, the other way around was definitely not true.

“I never really understood how Ada accepted living like that but I don’t have much to compare so I tried not to judge her for it.”

“No lad caught your attention after you came back?” The gipsy woman took a sip of her tea before continuing. “Or during your time in France?” Daphne had a pretty good guess that she must be talking about William since she had seen them together at the party.

“No. Not that way.” The older woman just nodded, eyes trained on the other woman’s reactions.

“Not even Solomons? He is not hard on the eyes and you two seemed quite close.” Daphne laughed at the statement - people seemed to never give up on the subject of her and Alfie being a couple.

“Alfie is family.” The way she said it, so naturally, so devoid of doubt made Polly think that their bound was deeper than she first predicted. Polly was certain that there was more to their relationship than what they let people know - Alfie Solomons wasn’t a man known for his honesty or loyalty, nevertheless, the woman in front of her had been by his side since the end of the war.

It was obvious to her too that the man who was observing her and Tommy from the mezzanine during the party felt more than just friendship towards her but it seemed that Daphne didn’t reciprocate it - which, apparently, left the way clear for Tommy and that’s where the lived the danger. Then she decided to make a bold move.

“Let me read your leaves.” Daphne was quite taken aback by the request, she blinked twice before answering the gipsy woman.

“Why not.” Polly was surprised that she accepted the request so easily - maybe more surprised by that than by the fact that she had requested to read the girl’s leaves in the first place.

“Pour some tea into the cup and swirl it.” The young woman did what she was told. “Now put the tea back into the teapot.” Polly extended her hand for Daphne to give her the cup, after taking it she gave one last glance towards the young woman before starting to analyze the cup.

“There’s happiness in your future but there is also a lot of pain.” Silence filled the room while the older woman swirled the teacup in her hands. “You will be betrayed and have your heart broken. You will also find something that you thought was lost.” Polly rested the cup into the table and looked up to meet Daphne’s hazel eyes in silence for a long time before she finally spoke again. “You seem like a good girl, Daphne, and if I didn’t thought that I wouldn’t say to you what I’m gonna say now: be careful. Love is a good thing but sometimes it can blind us and that’s when we get hurt.”

*******************************************************************************************

When Tommy arrived home at the end of the day one of the first things that he noticed was the teacup resting on the kitchen table. He picked it up, looking at the leaves inside it and directing his gaze to his aunt who was observing him, sipping her own cup of tea while leaning onto the kitchen counter.

“Lizzie’s been here for you to read her leaves again, Poll? You still leading her own…”

“It wasn’t Lizzie.” He recognized the smug look on his aunt’s face - she was leading him to something, the teacup left onto the table was a bait for him to talk to her, it was all part of her plan. He put the cup back where he found it and turned around to pour himself a drink.

“Then who was the poor soul that was believing in your predictions?”

“Daphne. She left just some minutes ago.” He stopped for a brief moment but it was enough for Polly to notice. Daphne had been here? How he didn’t know that?

“Didn’t think that she would be one for these kind of stuff.” He turned around, glass of whisky in his hand and her aunt’s gaze still on him and his curiosity got the best of him. “What did you find out?” By the smile on his aunt’s face he knew that this is what she wanted all along.

“That she is a good girl - too good for you.” Tommy huffed at the statement taking a sip of his drink - he didn’t need any tea leaves to know that. “She will have her heart broken by the man that she loves.” Polly walked to her nephew, stopping right in front of him and holding his gaze. “Will you be that man, Tommy?” He just stood there nursing his drink, long before the woman had left. He had vowed to himself to never let another woman into his heart again, not after Grace, but it was difficult to remember that when he was around Daphne. She was constantly proving him wrong, challenging him, sneaking into his family’s good graces. Would he be the one to break her heart or would it be the other way around?

*******************************************************************************************

Alfie was waiting for her when she arrived home - sitting on his usual chair in the balcony of the drawing room, humming something to himself. Daphne approached him and called his name but he didn’t seemed to notice, to lost on his thoughts.

“Everything alright?” He looked at her then, his attention caught by the hand she gently placed on his shoulder, the woman could tell that he seemed a little off just by the expression on his face.

“Yeah, yeah.” The Jew got up from his chair to stand in front of her. “How was tea with the gypsies?”

“It was just Polly. Everything went fine, she is actually very hospitable.”

“Hum. Good.” He didn’t seemed less tense after her answer. “I’ve made you some kugel for dessert, I know it is your favorite.” Daphne frowned at that.

“There is some special occasion that I’m forgetting? You haven’t cooked in ages.” He stared at her in silence for a long moment before answering.

“No, just appreciating the company, love.”

“Well, thank you, kind sir. I’m just going to take a bath and we can have dinner then.” Alfie nodded at her, letting her go upstairs while he just observed as she disappeared. He really hoped that at least for one time in his life he was doing the right thing.

*******************************************************************************************

As Tommy drove to the Carleton’s property he thought about his next steps. May had showed her interest in him and he was going to play his cards to ensure that his horse would be able to run the Epsom. She had also mentioned having contacts at the War Office and that could grant them information on Daphne. He just wasn’t expecting the extent of the Carleton’s wealthiness.

“Mr. Thomas Shelby, madam.” One of the maids announced him and Tommy entered the room without a second glance at the girl.

“Nice house.” He says as he looks around and approaches May, who is looking at him a little unsure. It was more than nice house, probably the most expensive fucking place he had put his foot on during his entire life.

“Would you like a whisky? Scotch or Irish?”

“Irish.” She turns her back to him to serve the drink and he takes the time to look out the window, taking a cigarette from his case. “Sorry for the short notice. I was passing.”

“We're not quite on the Birmingham road.”

“It was a small diversion.”

“Sixty miles, I checked.”

“That's a small diversion these days.” He says, approaching her and lightening the cigarette that is already between his lips.

“So, I'm a small diversion. Good.” She hands him the whiskey before taking a sip of hers. “Your horse is still out on the gallops, but I had Mickey prepare this report. You can read it now if you'd like, then we can go see her.” May hands him the file with the reports and he rests it on the table, starting to scan the pages as he clears his throat. “Is there enough light for you to read?”

“Yes, it's fine.”

“It's getting quite late.” She sits down on the couch, Tommy doesn’t react to her words and continues to read the report but he notices that she is nervous. “Mickey says she has the lungs of an elephant. She's nimble in the heavy going, but bounces a little on the hard ground. Sorry, I'll let you read.”

“So, he thinks she'll favor good to soft ground, eh?” Tommy closes the file while talking.

“A little juice in the grass.”

“Mm. Well, that's good for Epsom.” He pauses, looking at her and placing his empty glass on the table. “Does he think she's not good enough for Epsom?”

“She needs a lot of work.” May observes as he takes a drag from the cigarette. “The race board will need convincing.”

“I imagine you have some influence.” She doesn’t answer him directly.

“Mm. That's the suggested program for the next two months.” As Tommy goes back to looking at the report, May gets up from her seat. “Your glass is empty.”

“It's fine.”

“Are you hungry?”

“Yes, a bit.”

“I can prepare something.”

“Do you have engine oil?” There’s a hint of surprise in her features as she looks at him. “Before I set off for Birmingham, the car needs oil.”

“I'm sure my husband kept some in the garage. I can get someone to do it.”

“This evening or tomorrow?” They stare at each other for a moment, he waits for her next step.

“Well, we're so far from anywhere, people usually stay over.” She is clearly nervous as she takes a set at the couch again, sipping her whisky. “Especially before cars, when it was just carriages, people used to stay over all the time.”

“But I have a car.”

“Yes.”

“And you have engine oil.”

“Probably.” Her words are all but a whisper before she pauses, nervously looking at the other way. “But it would be very usual.”

“What would?” His eyebrows raising as he waits for the answer, making her admit it out loud.

“For a guest to stay. We have a whole wing called the guest wing.”

“Oh, you…” He almost smirked at the information. “You have a guest wing. Well...” Then Tommy notices that she is crying, silently, trying to hide her tears by facing the opposite wall. He walks to her, calling her name softly and resting a hand on her shoulder, trying to soothe her. Thomas never liked when woman cried, most part of the time it put him off because he didn’t exactly know how to react and, in this particularly scenario, it wasn’t something that he had predicted. “Have a smoke.”

“Thank you.” She accepts the cigarette from his hands and observes as he takes a step back to light another, taking a sit at the other end of the couch. “Ignore this. It's actually all right. I put all his photos in a drawer and locked it, as if that was going to make a difference. I'm like a fucking lighthouse keeper, out here on my own, keeping his flame burning. But, of course, when anyone sees a lighthouse they stay clear, don't they?” May observes as he seems to take a moment to think.

“Now, do you have a map? Of the house. Do you have a map? Because I'm not going to be able to find my way in the dark. You see, at midnight, I'm going to leave my wing and I'm going to come find you. And I'm going to turn the handle of your bedroom door without making a sound and none of the maids will know.”

“You don't know maids.” She scoffed at him.

“They hear a pin drop?”

“If there's a man in the house, they listen. They take turns.”

“So, let them listen.” Things were going according to his plan but Tommy couldn’t help remembering his aunt’s words that would keep echoing inside his head for the whole night.

Taglist: @stressedandbandobessed7771​

[hockey-jews]

For anyone who wants to learn more about Judaism! Also, kind of a post about how to deal with some Things and Stuff. This is a long post so I’ll put it under a read more for those interested:

This is really for an anonymous message I got that described struggles with things that I think many of us struggle with or have in the past: not being “Jewish enough” in the eyes of other Jews due to your heritage being on the “wrong” side (read; on your father’s side), yet still experiencing antisemitism from goyim. Not learning very much, if anything, about Judaism as a child but wanting to learn more as an adult. Not being comfortable with some traditions or laws of Judaism because you are a) a feminist b) LGBT c) an atheist. Living in a place with few to no Jewish spaces. Not feeling welcome in the Jewish community due to any or all of these things. 

Book recs!

If you’re the kind of person who enjoys reading (or can at least tolerate it) I highly recommend these books! They’re all books that I have either read/started reading/or plan on reading. (Please keep in mind that none of these are Jewish texts such as the Torah or the Talmud and that I do understand the importance of such religious texts but am not recommending them because I feel those are obvious sources of information)

A Bride for One Night if you aren’t familiar with the Talmud, it’s a collection of writings and explanations of Jewish laws and traditions and it’s old as balls. The author of this book, Ruth Calderon, takes a bunch of Talmudic stories and makes them into these wonderful beautiful stories that are easier to read than the original ones from the 3rd and 6th centuries. Even if you don’t know anything about the Talmud this book is so fascinating and fun to read. 

The G-d Who Hates Lies is literally perfect for you if you have issues with how women are viewed and treated in the most traditional sense of Judaism. It’s a really great criticism by people who are extremely qualified to make those criticisms (both are rabbi’s and I think they both have doctorates in theology, specifically Modern Orthodox Judaism, which makes for a really cool viewpoint). I can’t find anything about the third author of this book, who is a woman, but it’s comforting to know that a woman had a part in this as well. Obviously these people love Judaism, they just want to see it adapt to modernity. Just in general it’s a really thoughtful book that challenges dogma. 

Jewish Literacy was recommended by an anon (thank you!) The rest of the title is “The Most Important Things to Know about The Jewish Religion, Its People and Its History” so like. Ya get what ya see here folks. HOWEVER I did see a review that mentions there is some Islamophobia and hostility towards Jews who are antizionist. It does genuinely look informative and I haven’t read it myself so I can’t attune to whether or not that review is accurate, but maybe be cautious if you read this in knowing that the author may not be objective. 

Book of Mercy made me openly weep and feel something tender and weird in my heart and like. Okay so it’s not informative so much as it’s a book of poetry by Leonard Cohen (he was Jewish if you didn’t know!) He calls his poems “modern psalms” and honestly this would be a good read even if you aren’t religious at all because his writing is just so gorgeous. But it does have references to Judaism and his identity as a Jew 

Understanding Judaism is really a “building blocks” kind of book to me, if that makes sense? It’s really informative but also really basic and is fantastic for people who know very little about Judaism or just want a well presented understanding of the core aspects of the Jewish religion. Even if you aren’t a Jew who’s looking to learn or someone who is considering conversion it’s still a good book if you’re interested in world religions regardless of your faith or lack thereof. (man I’m starting to sound pretentious lmao I just mean like, if you’re an atheist or Catholic or whatever, it’s pretty interesting and also this guy is kinda dorky-funny so it makes for an easier read than some other books about religion)

Shmooze I think this is meant to be more for a group to read an discuss, and like, also maybe meant for a younger audience (I’m talking about teenagers so not really that young, but if you’ve been reading dull infodumps by 90 y/o Jewish rabbis with doctorate degrees this is gonna be a change of pace lmao) I should mention that I’ve only read like two pages of this book because I saw it at Barnes and Noble and just kinda briefly checked it out so I don’t know a ton about it but it stuck in my head and the reviews look positive so 

Obvious I don’t think you have to read all of those because I haven’t even read all of those so maybe just check one of them out if it seems like it could be helpful to you. 

Judaism here on tumblr dot com:

Okay so like. This is really my personal diced onion so take it however you will but keep in mind that this really only reflects things I’ve come across and how I feel. 

Obviously there are a lot of really great blogs about Judaism but I don’t have any specific ones to recommend I’m sorry :O I really really hate ~Discourse~ and like, in-depth arguments about the Holocaust because I get so wrapped up in it and let’s be honest, tumblr is all about the discourse and ignorance. That being said, I like to follow other people who are Jewish and blog about whatever because that usually leads to safer discussions and also is a great way to find really helpful thoughts and discussions by other Jews about topics like being LGBT, being a woman, being an atheist, etc. These are just nice to read and also if you aren’t familiar with certain Yiddish or Hebrew terms that are commonly used it’s a good way to see how and when they’re used in certain contexts. 

I’m going to tag anything like this that I post here as “good info” just so me and anyone who wants can find this stuff easier. No they won’t necessarily have anything to do with hockey. 

Also please be very careful when you’re reading a post that is presenting certain things as facts, always double check what someone is saying because misinformation is spread so quickly, and it’s almost always unintentional. The things that I find genuinely helpful/safe/fun involve opinions, common feelings and experiences, little personal stories and jokes, cool stuff like that. 

I’m Jewish on my father’s side :0

Me too boo. Unfortunately that’s an unending discussion, and one that is often held by matrilineal Jews and doesn’t actually include patrilineal Jews, nor does it consider our thoughts/feelings/experiences. Without sounding like an idiot, it is absolutely buckwild to me that there are people who have been raised Jewish, have never known anything other than Jewish tradition, have been subject to antisemitism, but still aren’t considered Jewish. 

And then this is where I see matrilineal Jews who hold this viewpoint bring up Reform Judaism, which is one of the three main branches of Judaism and does recognize patrilineall Jews as Jews. I’ve seen some discrepancy as to whether or not patrilineal Jews had to have been raised Jewish in order to be considered Jewish. This is all well and good for Jews like me whose family practices Reform Judaism, but for patrilineal Jews who wish to practice in an Orthodox or Conservative synagogue, it gets tricky. 

Basically, yes this is a huge topic that inspires a lot of disagreement, and that sucks, but here’s what it comes down to. No one else is allowed to make you feel inferior because of your heritage. So many people, even modern Orthodox Jews, recognize that certain aspects of Judaism need to adapt to today’s society. I don’t want to offend anyone here, but I really do feel that most matrilineal Jews who don’t consider us Jewish are extremely hypocritical (for a lot of reasons but mostly like...y’all really follow every aspect of Jewish Law? Like do you really? All of it? Girl do u? Or are you maybe just being elitist). Learning about your heritage, talking about shared experiences, combating antisemitism, these are all things that are fair game for you (especially for the anon who said they were atheist) and going to Shabbat services, praying, participating in holy days. That’s all yours if you want it, bubbeleh. 

Can I be an atheist Jew?

Sure you can! I, personally, am not an atheist so I wasn’t comfortable finding specific resources about this because I don’t really know much about it? It’s fine with me if you’re atheist that’s none of my business, I just don’t want to direct you to a bad source. But yes, many Jews are atheist, many are secular, I’m sure there are many here on tumblr. It’s absolutely okay, Judaism is an ethnoreligion, and while you may experience Judaism different than the rest of us, you’re still a Jew and still belong. 

Here’s an excerpt from a short lil synopsis of Judaism:

These three connotations of Judaism as a monotheistic system, as a literary tradition, and as a historical culture are sometimes viewed separately. For example, there are Jews who see themselves as culturally Jewish, but who are also non-religious or atheist, often identifying more strongly with Jewish “peoplehood” than with traditional understandings of God and Torah. Even so, all Jews would recognize that these three points of reference have shaped and guided Jewish experience through the ages.

Jewish “peoplehood” that they talk about is like. Culture, customs, food, art, history, etc. 

One last little note on this, you’ll hear a lot that Judaism focuses more on actions than on beliefs. This is an excellent article that is pretty short and worth reading that I want to include because I think that even if you don’t believe in G-d or even if you are seriously questioning, the focus on just. Doing good. Actively doing good things and trying to be a good person (I know that’s objective but bear with me) is a such a huge part of Judaism that you can try to incorporate into your life without having to subscribe to any sort of dogma or beliefs that you don’t hold. “Judaism is certainly a faith-based tradition. Belief in G-d is central to our religion. It just isn’t a prerequisite. If you are Jewish, you are so regardless of belief.” 

But I’m a feminist....

As you should be. This is probably another personal statement you gon’ wanna take with a grain of salt, but I think Judaism, especially in the last 50 years or so, has made huge strides in this. Especially Reform Judaism, but that kind of goes without saying. 

Example, my synagogue was founded as a Conservative synagogue. Our website still says we are. I’m not actually sure tbqh, like I said, my family are Reform Jews, and so are most other families in our congregation I think but this is literally the only synagoge for like hundreds of miles so. Anyways our rabbi is female (Rabbi Shaina!) and she does great work, we all love her. She’s really adament on teaching kids that gender shouldn’t keep you from anything, that Judaism is for all Jews, that it should enhance our lives. She wears a tallis, lays her tefillin, and reads from the Torah. 

My point here is that while this isn’t like, the end of misogyny in Judaism as we know it, it’s still a big deal in most religions to have a woman as their religious leader, essentially a position of religious power. For men to accept a woman as a religious leader is not something that is super common in most religions. And we’re like, a tiny congregation over a hundred miles away from anyone else, technically a Conservative synagogue, that’s super loving and accepting of a feminist running our shit... female rabbis are super common and I think it speaks a lot to how we’re progressing as a religion. Reform Judaism is going to be your best bet when it comes to tolerance but knowing that all three of the main branches are progressing, at least with this, is really comforting to me. 

However, that’s an extremely one sided view and doesn’t really show the issue as a whole. This super short article (? not sure) is a bit pessimistic in my mind but presents the other side of things and gives a good explanation of the traditional sources of misogyny in Judaism, so this could further your understanding as well. 

By no means are we perfect but we’re workin on it. Look into Jewish Feminism though, if you have the time. That article is just a lil intro to the topic. 

I’m Q*eer/LGBT and I’m not sure y’all are gonna be cool with that...

Well this one’s a doozy. 

I’ll kick this right off by presenting an article that is objective and does not reflect the author’s opinion, just lays out the issues at hand. It also has some links to other good pieces, including one cool story about a transgender man, Rafi Daugherty, embracing his role as a father and details his experience with pregnancy and giving birth. I should mention that I am cisgender so I’m interpreting this article through a different point of view, but it really does make a point of celebrating Rafi and his daughter and sharing their story. It does include a little cultural background context, but this is a positive story that I think deserves to be shared :) 

Then there’s this statement from the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism that confirms its absolute acceptance and support of LGBT Jews. 

On the other side of things, there are still homophobic and intolerant Jews. Conversion camps were not just a Christian thing, there were Jewish conversion camps as well, which is horrific. Idk what to say because I think homophobia and transphobia in Judaism is really similar to what you would find in Christian settings. 

I’m bisexual and I feel completely welcomed by other Jews who know this about me, and I certainly don’t feel any less Jewish because of it. 

I live in a place where Jewish spaces are rare.

I really hate to disappoint with this one but I don’t have any specific sources or anything like that. Alls I got to say is that’s why the internet is so great? I really don’t feel like that’s helpful at all, but I think for the most part, the Jewish side of tumblr is pretty accepting and welcoming. Obviously that’s not always gonna be true though idkdjaskfl;dj

I spose with this one I wanna encourage anyone who has any good resources for involvement or something like that to reply to this post or drop by my inbox and let me know! Or maybe just your thoughts on some Jewish spaces you’ve encountered? 

I hope this was helpful

In conclusion, don’t let anyone make you feel less Jewish. Your sexual identity, gender identity, and even your belief in G-d doesn’t take away from your Jewishness. I’d like to say that since I started delving into Judaism a little more I’ve found a lot of peace. And yeah that sounds cliche and also vague but it’s really a breath of fresh air to learn about my family and know more about this community. Also if you’re comfortable with or willing to try prayer, even if you’re atheist, it can be a good way to decompress sometimes, a really therapeutic kind of way to voice your thoughts and feelings and reflect on them. 

There’s so much information and culture to delve into but it’s so so worth it to learn and I’m really happy for you that you’re interested in getting more in touch with your Jewish roots. 

If any of these links don’t work and you’d like to see them let me know!

[brianjaeger]

2020 Academy Award Best Picture Nominees Guide For Those Who Haven’t Actually Watched Them

The 92nd Oscars are here and it’s time yet again for all of us to lord over one year’s worth of millions of people’s passions with the certainty of a judge at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show (which ironically takes places one day later) and say aloud, “This art is and forever shall be known as better than that other art!” 

Throw the notion that expression through the medium of film can exist simply to reflect a myriad of emotions and varied experiences right into the wind. We gotta know what that BEST art is, son!

So with mere hours left before Sunday’s spectacle, you’re probably asking yourself one question. “Brian, why do you keep doing this?” No, not that one. “Brian, Tumblr? Really? Does that still exist? Why don’t you spend the slightest amount of time to find a better medium for this?” No, not that one either. “But Brian, I haven’t actually watched any of these films. What am I going to do?!” Ah, now that’s the one. But fear not. I’ve got you covered. For the 6th time, I’m here to give you a rundown of what I think all of these movies are about without actually seeing them, along with some pithy little talking points to take into your Oscar parties to sound like a goddamn genius.

Ford V Ferrari

In this epic clash of man vs. nature set in the den of Harrison Ford’s summer home in Plano, Texas, the extremely hungry aging star has just had a large pie from Ferrari’s Pizzeria, located at 3949 Legacy Drive, delivered…and now it is time for battle. On the About Us section of their website, Ferrari’s Pizzeria makes a “promise to our customers to provide the best Italian food using recipes handed down from our Italian grandmothers.” Hold on to your Italian grandmothers, kids - that promise is about to be put to the test. (Yeah, it’s real.)

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

That cameo by Mater from Cars is really what pushed this film into Oscar contention.

Christian Bale's car in Ford V Ferrari is also an unwavering method actor and remained in character as a car for the entirety of production.

Who won? I'll give you a hint, in the long run, it was not the quality of life for the American working class!

The Irishman

In this gritty thriller, Lucky the Leprechaun’s father, Frank Leprechaun, an immigrant who worked as a farrier making horseshoes in Ireland before coming to America, wishes on a shooting star for a way to make a better life for his family. He finds that chance by doing hits for the mob and we see his first job take place under a pale moon, when he shoots a diamond store clerk in the heart, blood red ballooning out onto the green grass, like crimson and clover. Later, an aging Frank Leprechaun kills union leader Jimmy Hoffa and as he dies, he divulges the secret that Hoffa’s body is buried on a plantation in Lexington to Lucky. The young boy looks back and makes a firm promise to his dying father. “They’ll never get Kentucky farm.”

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

The de-aging technology used in The Irishman was so advanced that, while you can’t see it, De Niro's testicles are actually two inches higher in the first half of the movie.

The run time of the movie is 3 hours and 30 minutes which is also the average amount of time Netflix users scroll through options before deciding to just watch the same episode of The Office again.

In Ireland, this movie is known as The Man.

JoJo Rabbit

From M. Night Shyamalan comes the story of a scared young boy who claims to see Jewish people. While adults around him are trying very hard to see them too, it’s Adolf Hitler who helps the boy to overcome his fear and actually communicate with the Jews to understand them and realize that the reason that he can see them is because he can help them. And then at the end we realize that Hitler was actually a Jew himself THE WHOLE TIME!  

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

I thought it was just a bit on the nose that Taika Waititi chose to have JoJo sing her hit “Leave (Get Out)” at all the Nazis during the Allied occupation of Germany.

While juggling roles in Marriage Story and JoJo Rabbit, Scarlett Johansson would often get confused resulting in one day on set when she tried to cut Sam Rockwell’s hair in a bathtub.

Of all the nominated films, when it comes to winning Best Picture, this is…Nazi one! (Cough. Look around. Place your drink on the table. Slowly collect your coat, walk to the door, pause as if to turn, sigh, leave.)

Joker

It’s 1964 and Cesar Romero has established himself as a force in Hollywood. A multi-talented performer and veteran of WWII, Romero has amassed an impressive body of work playing roles as a versatile character actor, when he gets a call from his agent.

Agent: Cesar, I’ve got something that I think you’d be perfect for.

Cesar Romero: Is it a complex villain in a new Western? A dark turn as a gangster in a noir? A comedic foil in a Sinatra vehicle?

Agent: No. Better.

Cesar Romero: What is it?

Agent: Get this. An evil clown Batman nemesis…on TV!

(Silence.)

Cesar Romero: Um.

Agent: You’ll be kind of like a sidekick to Burgess Meredith! And guess what he is?

Cesar Romero: (Deep breath.) What is he?

Agent: Like a half-man, half-penguin sort of thing…I think. But he’s also evil! Oh, and you’ll also get to star alongside Julie Newmar!

Cesar Romero: Oh, well that may have legs. So, do we have a “will they, won’t they” dynamic?

Agent: Not at all! But she is evil too. And also part cat!

Cesar Romero: I do not understand any of what you are saying.

Agent: And it’s got Frank Gorshin!

Cesar Romero: And what is he? Let me guess. Like an evil frog person?

Agent: No, no! He’s The Riddler. It’s sort of the same exact deal as your character, only he doesn’t wear any makeup. Isn’t this wonderful?!

Cesar Romero: (Pause.) You have to be joking.

Agent: No, Cesar. YOU have…to be joking.

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

We still have a little bit of time for Joaquin Phoenix to die and win a posthumous Oscar for this role and keep with tradition. Then in 11 more years, a woman will win Best Supporting Actress for playing the Joker role and then in another 11 years the actual Joker will direct Joe Kerr in a reboot co-starring the Impractical Jokers…and win an Oscar.

I found the end scene touching when Arthur’s wife delivers his child and asks, “Arthur, what do you want to name your son?” And he replies, “Béla.”

Todd Phillips only made this big flashy blockbuster for the studio so that they’d let him do his deeply personal, intimate art house project, The Hangover IV.

Little Women

In a fresh take on a movie that I think is about some nuns living in a cottage during, fuck, I dunno like 1845? 1912? Aught 5? but there’s like a mean one, and a smart-and-sort-of-pretty-but-not-too-pretty one, and they probably have a dog, oh and a horse, and they have fights about vying for the love of the same boy they grew up with who is now some hot stud with poofy hair and poofy shirts and a nasally British accent, oh and there’s 2-3 other sisters that really just serve to further the main sister’s plot, and there is like fucking grass everywhere and how is all that grass not staining the shit out of those long flowy dresses that they always wear on their farm – or is it a glen? can you live ON a glen? – but later the guy marries the right one and he’s a strong man but is totally cool with her writing about some bullshit about being like a female doctor pioneer or something – oh and she’s wearing a straw hat with like a ribbon that’s always flapping the fuck around behind her – I forgot also that they only have one parent, the other is definitely dead and that comes up a little too often, and my mom and two sisters have to have tissues near the goddamn couch while they watch this seemingly 14 hour fucking miniseries or movie or Hallmark marathon because even though each of them could goddamn recite the dialogue from memory they still cry every…single…time…and OH MY GOD, CAN THIS ANNE OF GREEN GABLES, SOUND OF MUSIC, LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE, PRIDE AND PREJUDICE OR WHATEVER THIS GIRL STUFF IS PLEASE BE OVER SO I CAN HAVE THE LIVING ROOM TV BACK TO WATCH BOY STUFF!

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

Not many people know this fact but on her death bed, Louisa May Alcott’s final request was that if a woman ever directed a film adaptation of Little Women they would absolutely under no circumstances be nominated for a Best Director Oscar. So, really, that’s on her.

To ants, these are very big women.

Alan Dershowitz and Prince Andrew's favorite film.

Marriage Story

Dr. Ellie Sattler has established her second career as a divorce attorney after years as a paleobotanist and now fights so that “woman inherits the earth”...or at least gets primary custody and more than half of the assets.

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

The roommates of Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig have become increasingly annoyed listening to several minutes of the two repeating, “No I hope YOU are recognized by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences with the Academy Award for Best Picture…and hang up first,” before ending their long phone calls every night.

While juggling roles in Marriage Story and JoJo Rabbit, Scarlett Johansson would often get confused resulting in one day on set when she tried to hide Robert Smigel in the attic.

Variety reports that a remake of Marriage Story is now slated for fall of 2026 with Colin Jost in the role originated by Adam Driver in a version of the story that will be produced by real life.

1917

The seventh and final installment of the 1910's saga follows the previous successful box office hits 1911: The First One, 1912: Now There's Two, 1913: Why Not Three, 1914: Get It? Years Are Sequential. That’s Really All This Joke Is, 1915: This Is The Fifth One (But Fourth Sequel), and 1916: 19 Fast 16 Furious.

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

Originally, the movie was supposed to have a ton of cuts between scenes but after saying, “Action,” a producer whispered to Sam Mendes that they only had budget left for one single take after hiring every single recognizable British actor still alive – so Mendes started screaming, “Run! You there, start shooting at them. Keep rolling! Keep running! Jump down that waterfall! Let’s go, people, keep up! Hide in those trees now! Oh look, more bad guys! Pew pew! Duck! Run over that way! Do not…stop…shooting!”

If this movie was called 2017, Colin Firth would have just pulled out his Samsung Galaxy Note 8 and texted, “Call off attack,” with a GIF of Admiral Ackbar saying, “It’s A Trap!” Then, mere seconds later he would have received, “lol k thx”.

1917 earned Benedict Cumberbatch a nomination for “Most Distressingly Off-putting Mustache”.

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood harkens back to a time long, long, long ago in Hollywood's history when the majority of top actors were white, the majority of directors were old men and individual parts of women's bodies were oddly objectified and sexualized. We’ve come so far since then!

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

Please don’t ruin the fun and let Brad Pitt know that a movie was actually being filmed around him from June to November 2018.

I didn’t think the film was particularly that great but every single person I know who lives in L.A. and is either in or adjacent to the entertainment industry corrected me that it actually is.

Oh, I’m sorry – I think you’re in the wrong place. This is the once upon a time where a man is burned alive with a blowtorch. If you’re looking for the once upon a time where a man’s eyes are drilled out of his face, well then, pal, you’re gonna want to go to Mexico.

Parasite

Oh. I’m sorry. I accidentally put a Best For'n Language Film here at the end of this list of the best ‘Murican films.

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

Parasite was, by far, the best movie I read this year!

나는 기생충을 진심으로 감사 할 수 있도록 한국어를 배웠습니다.

Bong Joon-ho's Parasite might leave you asking who are the real bottom feeders in the black comedy about social structures. There's plenty of food for thought as this picture is deeper than than what it may seem like on the surface…is the word-for-word review from Rotten Tomatoes Super Reviewer Aldo G that I just read to you out loud after pulling it up on my phone here.

[gonnabesyk]

September 8th, 2017 7:40pm

I finished “When God Looked The Other Way” by Wesley Adamczyk earlier today and can’t believe how much of an eye-opener it was. I’m not very good with words and I’m still quite ignorant about many of these things, so please excuse me if I say anything stupid here! First, I want to point out that while I knew OF the Soviets, I never knew they invaded Poland during WWII. In fact, it wasn’t until recently I began learning of the Nazi invasion of Poland! When I was in school, the primary focus of World War 2 was on the holocaust. If you say that word, most Americans are immediately going to think only of the persecution of the Jews. I knew Poland was a communist country until 1989, but I had no idea this way of life had been imposed on the Polish by the Soviets. It’s clear my history classes left out many important pieces of the puzzle! I actually started this Tumblr post when I was a little more than halfway through the book and had been using it to jot down my initial reactions to some of the things Wesley talked about. I’ll quickly share those now! - I bawled when Wesley recalled his reaction when the Russians first barged into his home and told the family to collect their possessions. He wanted to bring his toys. What 7 year old wouldn’t? How does a person become so desensitised that they can mock a terrified little boy for wanting to hold onto the objects that bring him comfort? - The Polish prisoners singing their national anthem on the train was inspiring. Even after being threatened by the Russians, they continued singing. Can you imagine how much that must have infuriated their captors? Good for them. I’m not even Polish and that made me proud! - I don’t have words to describe what an amazing woman Anna Adamczyk was.  She was a hero. I don’t think there’s any way her children would have survived without her. She was kind to the Kazakhs and taught her children not to judge a group of people just because their way of living was different from her own. She even had sympathy for the Russian people. I’m sure some of them supported communism, but Anna understood even they were suffering and took pity on them. I was heartbroken when she passed away in Tehran. So close to freedom :( I know her main concern, though, was for her children. She took a huge risk, and it paid off. She saved their lives and must have been so relieved! - I will never, ever, EVER take for granted having tissues and toilet paper. I’m very confused as to how handkerchiefs are a capitalist luxury! Wiping your snot on your clothes is the same concept, just much less hygienic. Same with toilet paper. I was horrified when Wesley talked about playing with rocks and avoiding the ‘smooth’ stones because they were often used by others as toilet paper. - When the family lived with Mr. Petrovich and his wife, I was beyond certain they’d do nothing but argue. After all, Mr. Petrovich was Russian and probably supported Communism, right? Nope! That was surprising for me. He loved his country, but knew the communists were destroying it. I felt so awful for him and his wife.. Still, I was touched by how supportive he was of the Adamczyks! I wonder what happened to him? I’m afraid he committed suicide, but the book never explained :( - Bedbugs and lice everywhere. No matter where they went, they just couldn’t seem to escape them. There’s no way you could live in such filthy conditions for as long as Wesley and his family did and NOT develop some form of PTSD. How could you get any sleep with those things crawling all over you and sucking your blood? People don’t even let animals live like that! - I don’t know any Polish people in real life, but I know there are some very cruel stereotypes about them in the United States. Even my own dad was racist against them.. People sometimes joke about how easily Poland was conquered during WW2. I wonder if they know the Polish had to worry not only about the Germans, but the Russians as well? Two major threats. They probably don’t if they’re American! I’m glad I know that now and will happily tell anyone who wants to poke fun at the Poles to shut up. I hope this paragraph isn’t offensive as that definitely wasn’t my intention; my point is that people often make fun of things they don’t totally understand! - I’m so sorry the Americans were too cowardly to speak up against the Soviets :( I can understand why so many Poles were upset with the US and Britain. As usual, it seems people are only have their own best interests at heart. I never stopped to think what happened to Poland after the war. It’s not like everything just went back to normal and people could return home. To be displaced from your country and know you might never get to go back.. I can’t even imagine how painful it must have been. - I had a terrible feeling early on that Wesley’s father didn’t survive. When it was finally confirmed later in the book, I felt an overwhelming sense of emptiness inside. This family had overcome SO much. Life is often extremely unfair, and it’s easy to blame God. I’m not at all surprised Wesley struggled as much as he did with his faith. I was hoping against hope the entire family would be reunited (except for his mother, of course) at the end. - Wesley finally arriving in the United States was such a bittersweet memory. I was afraid his relatives might be unkind to him for some reason (I guess I was always expecting the worst!), but I cried at how happy they were to meet him. Pffft, I’m actually crying just thinking about it. Of course, it’s not the same as going back to Poland with his family, but I was relieved he finally had a safe place to stay. America is FAR from perfect, but I’m proud to know that most of the Americans he encountered when he first came were kind to him. I would have been furious if he’d been mistreated. - My blood boiled when I read about the Soviet’s attempts to cover up the mass murders. Crushing the bodies and planting trees over them? Fuck you. These were human beings with families who worried themselves sick wondering what happened to their loved ones. I wanted to be happy when Wesley finally visited his father’s ‘grave’ and collected some soil, but all I could feel was anger and sadness. I know exactly where my dad is buried. I took a flower from his grave. I can visit it any time. All of the officers killed deserved a proper burial. Am I understanding correctly the same people Wesley ate bread and salt with (the Ukrainians?) in Luck were descendants of the same people who had killed his father? Please correct me if not! If so, that took an enormous amount of forgiveness and should serve as a lesson to us all. I know I sound like a broken record, but this book was so enlightening. I recommended it to my mom and I sincerely hope she’ll read it some day ;___; She recommended the Zookeeper’s Wife (about the Nazi’s and Polish) which I’m gonna check out soon! Well, she recommended the movie, actually.. But I’m going to read the book first. One last thing: please feel free to set me straight if I misunderstood anything or said anything stupid/offensive here. As I said earlier, I’m very ignorant about much of this, but always willing to learn! The Polish have much to be proud of and I feel very lucky to be able to call one of them a friend!

[progressivejudaism]

It's there a link for the faq in mobile? The Tumblr app is not letting me check it out :(

Hiya anon,

I’m not sure!  There is a good chance that it is, but it’s hard to find on mobile for some reason.  Check it out!  http://progressivejudaism.tumblr.com/faqs

Worse case, here is the text of the entire FAQ page as of right now.  (Every once in a while I will add a new question or two).

What is Judaism?

Judaism is an ethnoreligion, which can be described as a a people with a rich culture, history, a land, languages (Hebrew, Jewish-Aramaic, Yiddish, Ladino…), literature, and a theology/philosophical tradition.

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What is Progressive Judaism?  What is Reform Judaism?

Progressive Judaism is an umbrella term that can be used to describe Jews who understand Jewish tradition from a more progressive perspective (note: not all Progressive Jews self-identify as Progressive politically).  The World Union for Progressive Judaism (WUPJ) is the ‘international umbrella organization’ for liberal, Reform, Reconstructionist, and Progressive Jewry worldwide.

The Union for Reform Judaism (URJ) is the governing body for North-American Reform Jewry. According to URJ.org, Reform Judaism “maintains faith in the Covenant between God and Israel as expressed over the generations in the teachings of an ever-evolving Torah and tradition. Stirred by the mandate of tikkun olam, Reform Judaism seeks to be the living expression of those teachings. It welcomes all who seek Jewish connection to pursue a life of meaning as inspired by the Divine and proclaimed in the truths grasped by Jewish teachers throughout time.”

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Who is considered Jewish?

Jewish identity is an incredibly tricky and charged subject.  There are two basic lines of thought in regard to ‘who is’ and ‘who isn’t’ a Jew.   According to Orthodox, Conservative, non-North American WUPJ Congregations,  and other traditional branches of Judaism: one is Jewish if their biological mother was/is Jewish or if they went through a formal conversion. According to the North American Reform Movement (the URJ), one is a Jew if they have at least one Jewish parent and was raised as a Jew in a Jewish household or through conversion.

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I’m not Jewish.  Can I follow this blog?

Absolutely.  I welcome all people to follow, ask questions, and interact with content!

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Is antisemitism still a problem?

Absolutely.  Antisemitism mainly exists in far-left and far-right communities. While the far-left typically hides their anti-Jewish hate under the masks of being “anti-Zionist” or “anti-Israel,” the far-right (often connected with white supremicists) often uses insane logic to dehumanize the Jewish people.

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How can we combat anti-Semitism?

From our modern perspective, we are living in a truly scary time in our people’s history as anti-Semitism is rising in the United States and around the world.  There are many ways that we as Jews can stand up against this bigotry.  While it is true that we can fight, punch neo-nazis in the face, and spread our anger at these outrageous offenses… I believe that our first task is to, [paraphrased in the words of Michelle Obama] “go high, when they go low”.

Our sage Elie Wiesel wrote: “I know and I speak from experience, that even in the midst of darkness, it is possible to create light and share warmth with one another; that even on the edge of the abyss, it is possible to dream exalted dreams of compassion; that it is possible to be free and strengthen the ideals of freedom, even within prison walls; that even in exile, friendship becomes an anchor.” (source)

By spreading our warmth, our compassion, friendship and our joy, we can create hope within our communities.  When they go low, we must go high. The Jewish people are a special beacon of light throughout the nations and it is our duty to remain moral and upright, even in the face of darkness.  

Although at times it seems like the whole world is against us, we need to realize how far we have come and how the power of the modern Jewish experience has over our autonomy and freedoms around the world.

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When you say message directly, do you mean send a message to this blog?

Yep!  I prefer if people send me a direct message so that we could have a nice conversation.

If anyone ever sees a question that they would like to chat with me about, regardless if you originally asked the question, please feel free to send me a message.  I would love to support you.

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What is the difference between a ‘shul’ a ‘temple’ and a ‘synagogue’?

Jews pray, study, and dwell in Synagogues (a Greek word which means “meeting place”), and called a  (Beit Knesset) בית כנסת in Hebrew.  “Shul” is simply the Yiddish translation of Synagogue. “Temple” is another translation of “Synagogue” that was popularized by the early ‘reformers of Judaism’ (reform as a verb, not the contemporary Movement).  These early maskilim (adherents to the Jewish Enlightenment) felt that it was important to embrace living in the diaspora, and that longing to return to Israel and rebuild the Temple was silly.  They believed wholeheartedly that their Synagogue WAS their own Temple.  The term stuck and we are left with three words interchangeable in English-speaking Jewish communities for the same term!

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Can one be Jewish and agnostic (or an atheist) at the same time?

Many Jews acknowledge that there is more than one way to understand the inner workings of the universe and how God can or cannot play a part in it. Many agnostic theologies fit very cleanly into Jewish philosophy.

But regardless of that, Judaism is a people with a culture, a history, a land, languages, foods… and we happen to have a religious theology.  It is entirely possible to not believe in God and still be a Jew- and an active Jew in the Jewish community!  

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Someone I know is ill (in the mind, body, or spirit) and/or is going in for surgery and/or is having a rough time.  Is there a prayer that I can say for them?  

The Mi Shaberach prayer can be said for anyone in your life, including yourself, who you feel needs a healing of mind, body, and/or spirit.

Mi Shebeirach avoteinu v’imoteinu,Avraham, Yitzchak v’Yaakov, Sarah, Rivkah,Rachel v’Lei-ah, hu y’vareich et hacholim[names]. HaKadosh Baruch Hu yimaleirachamim aleihem, l’hachalimam ul’rapotamul’hachazikam, v’yishlach lahem m’heirahr’fuah, r’fuah shleimah min hashamayim,r’fuat hanefesh ur’fuat haguf, hashtabaagala uviz’man kariv. V’nomar: Amen.

May the one who blessed our ancestors, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah, bless and heal those who are ill [names]. May the Blessed Holy One be filled with compassion for their health to be restored and their strength to be revived. May God swiftly send them a complete renewal of body and spirit, and let us say, Amen.

Source

If you would prefer to sing the words (or sing them in addition to reciting this version of the prayer), you can use Debbie Friedman’s version as well.

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Are LGBTQA+ folks welcome in Progressive Jewish communities?

Absolutely. As Progressive Jews, we believe that because every human being was created  (Betzelem Elohim - in the Image of God) בצלם אלהים (Gn. 1:27), we must treat everyone with the same respect and compassion that we give to God.  We recognize the wisdom that scientists and researchers of gender and sexuality have given us in order to enhance our society and thus understand that an individual’s sexuality, romantic identity, gender, and gender expression are individual, given by God, and are intrinsic parts of the human experience.  Progressive Jews do indeed believe that LGBTQA+ folks are “born this way.”  

In most major movements, LGBTQA+ families are welcomed into the Jewish community with open arms, same sex/gender couples are married, and rabbis and cantors of all genders and sexualities/romantic identities are ordained.

Although Israel has a long way to go in the name of equality (namely in adoption and marriage rights), she is one of the greatest places on earth for LGBTQA+ folks.  Beyond holding yearly Miss Trans Israel, and Tel Aviv Pride, legislation often favors the LGBTQA+ community.  

In more traditional communities, sexuality and gender identity are charged topics due to two lines in the Torah.  If you are interested in learning about my own personal interpretation of the texts, feel free to check THIS out.

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I’m not cisgender.    What Jewish resources are out there for someone like me?

·       Transtorah (which also has some fantastic resources for various genders) and Keshet (general resources for LGBTQ+ folks) are both fantastic resources.  Unfortunately, there is not a similar resource for nonbinary folks.  Here are two articles that I really like:

·       The Six Genders of Classical Judaism

·       Gender Diversity in Jewish Tradition

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I’m Jewish and I am in a relationship with non-Jew.  Are we welcome in Progressive Jewish spaces?  Can we get married by a rabbi or cantor?

You and your children are absolutely welcome in most Progressive Synagogues and spaces.  Before entering a new community, please contact them beforehand!  Due to anti-Semitism across the United States and around the world, Jewish communities must be careful.  Many non-Jewish spouses get very involved in Synagogue life!

Many Reform and Reconstructionist clergy will marry a Jew to a non-Jew- but everyone feels slightly different about the practice.  For example, many will argue that they will only perform ceremonies for couples who seek to build a Jewish home, based on Jewish values where children will go through Hebrew School and have their Bar or Bat Miztvahs.

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Jews and tattoos: what’s the deal?

Can Jews with tattoos be buried in a Jewish cemetery? Although each burial society can make up their own rules, their is nothing inherently written in Jewish law prohibiting it. (Source)

So where did this rumor come from and why are tattoos in Judaism taboo? It derives from the line: “You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the LORD.“ (Leviticus 19:28). This pasuk was written among other laws such as shaving and agricultural laws. The Mishneh Torah argues that it was to differentiate the ancient Israelite from Pagan neighbors. The Sifra (Halachic interpretation on Levicius) argues that this law only pertained to the kohanim (ritual priests). But many ancient and medieval scholars (and many contemporary ritually observant scholars) had negative opinions about Jewish tattoos.

But the most important scholar here is you, and how you use the text to understand the narrative (through the lens of other scholars).

For instance, my interpretation of this section of text (which is only my interpretation) is that it was inserted much later than during the time of Moses.  These were laws to keep the community cohesive and ultimately to make their perception of God happy. I believe that this line is incredibly important for learning about ourselves, but I do not necessarily believe that it is banning tattoos in 2016, but rather a communal law for ancient Israel.  

As Reform Jews, we believe that everyone can make choices based off of the information that they know.  I invite you to dive deeper into this issue.

For instance, there is a wonderful understanding that one should only get a tattoo if it makes them feel whole, such as this incredible breast cancer survivor in this article.  The author of *this* article, a rabbi from Texas, has the shema and v’ahavta tattood around his arm like t’fillin and has a very interesting point of view. And *this* is another fascinating understanding of a positive view on tattoos in Judaism from another rabbi.

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Marijuana and Judaism: what do Reform/Progressive Jews believe?

The CCAR as of this moment has only made decrees regarding medical marijuana.  For example in the “Resolution of the Medical Use of Marijuana,” the rabbis (and the Women for Reform Judaism) overwhelmingly taut the benefits of medical marijuana.  This article from Reform Judaism Magazine might be of interest to you as well about its use from the perspective of a Jewish doctor.

Reform Jews believe that all should be done to remove one’s pain or illness (may that be physical or psychological), but that we should not take advantage of drugs that we do not need.  

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How do Reform Jews feel about sex before marriage?

Obviously a contentious issue, we can see the evolution of Reform Jewish thought throughout time via the CCAR Responsas (many are linked here, i highly recomend skimming through them!)

Some of the earliest rabbinic responsa are from the 1970s and 1980s. In “Jewish Attitude Towards Sexual Relations Between Consenting Adults,“ the rabbis prohibit casual sexual relationships and make mention that those who are engaged (to be married) probably also should not engage in sexual intimacy (personally, I think that this is left vague for a reason).  

A few years later in 1984, a fascinating study appeared regarding the language on a ketuba (Jewish wedding contract) referring to the bride as a “virgin” (although she may or may not be a virgin) in “Virginity and the Ketuba”. The rabbis rule that this is an archaic wording choice and that “it would be wise either to refrain from any kind of designation of status for the woman in the ketubah“.  Ultimately, the rabbis understood that not all couples are virgins on their wedding night.  

In the responsa: “Long-Term, Non-Marital Relationships,” the rabbis argue flat out that “marriage should be the goal for our sexuality” because “it is within marriage that the sexual union finds its true home of kedushah” (holiness).  Although the rabbis are not condemning premarital sex, in this instance they argue its aid in creating a marriage.

The latest responsa regarding sexuality (similar to the examples above) comes in the form of the Reform Movement’s commitment to Sex Education in the “Resolution on Sex Education” in 2001.  Again, it does not condemn premarital sex, but encourages comprehensive sex education.  

Ultimately, it seems to me that the CCAR promotes healthy relationships between couples.  Although they do not condemn premarital sex in the later responsas, one can infer that they are hoping to form positive Jewish relationships that will become marriages.  

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Is evolution combatable with Judaism?

Absolutely! Although some more traditional Jews would disagree, I firmly believe that God can only fit within a framework that includes scientific discovery.  Evolution and the Big Bang Theory fit very cleanly into my own theology as I do not believe that the entire Torah was “from Sinai,” thus not entirely Divine.  We have too much evidence that suggests that the Torah was written by various human sources.  

That isn’t to say that there aren’t certain Divine sections.  But who is to say which sections were or weren’t written by God?  

Our Creation accounts  (Genesis 1 and 2) are extremely important as teaching tools, but not necessarily as accurate scientific understandings of the creation of the world. These two accounts were most likely, originally oral stories that taught people how the world functioned, for example why snakes slither and have a split tongue.  

Our ancestors were so curious about how the world was created and functioned on a daily basis.  It is incredible that now we are still trying to understand the origins of life and the universe and that we can continue their vision of understanding how it all works.

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What is Zionism? What is Progressive Zionism?

Zionism is the desire for the Jewish people to have peaceful, sovereignty and/or autonomy in their historic, ancient homeland.  Zionism is an ancient tradition that lives in Jewish liturgy and literature that only became a reality for the Jewish people in the 18th - 20th centuries.   Zionism can be considered a political force, a social force and/or a religious force.

Just like there are many ways to understand various political issues in any country, there is a spectrum of what it means to be a Zionist in the 21st century.  From radical left-wing, right-wing to centrist opinions, there is a tangled political web of different ideas regarding Israeli politics just like those that exist in other countries.

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Isn’t Zionism racist?  

It is not racist to argue for the existence of a Jewish State with a Jewish majority, with laws based on Jewish values, and where holidays and Shabbat are honored.  It is an antisemitic statement to argue any different.

But that being said, it is important that we continue to use our voices against the furthering of the Occupation.  It is clear that we have two nations living in Israel/Palestine.  One could very easily argue that ethnic cleansing is a tremendous component to the Occupation- and the rhetoric that claims that Israel has the sovereign right to the entire land mass is troubling for the future of the Palestinians, the Democratic character of Israel, and the destruction of Jewish values in the Jewish State.  Although Israel does need to defend herself against terror and bigotry, it is important that we reach a solid solution.  The only solution is some form of a two-state solution.  But to get there, we have a lot of work to do.

Zionism is not racist because the Jewish people deserve sovereign control in their historic homeland, just like the Germans, the French and the Turks all have sovereignty in their historic homelands.  The Palestinians ALSO deserve that same dignity.  The core tenet of Zionism (being free in our homeland) must be extended to our Palestinian brothers and sisters.

There are many paths to peace and several end solutions, but my favorite solution is the Confederation model. It is not a true one-state nor two-state solution AND its building blocks require Israelis and Palestinians to find common grounding and humility in one another.

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How does one deal with people that argue that Israel does not have a right to exist and that they stole land from Palestinians?

This is an incredibly important issue that I have a lot of trouble with.  For me, I see two options to your question:

1. Prove Israel’s right to exist using historical information.  Explain to them how the destruction of the 1st Temple (586 BCE), the 2nd Temple (70 CE) and the final expulsion following the Bar Kochba Rebellion (135 CE) transformed Jewish life.  Describe various persecutions throughout our history in the diaspora and our longing to return to our ancient homeland so that we could live a peaceful life.  Discuss how the early immigrants to the Yeshuv purchased land from Ottoman landowners in swampy, infertile areas.

But don’t lie about issues on both sides of the “Conflict” and be extremely transparent about how you feel about the issues and beautiful accomplishments of both sides.

But I warn you: this option can be dangerous. Sadly, there are people on both sides of the Conflict who are very extreme in their views.  For instance, there are some people who only look to the American media (which usually poorly describes the conflict) and view Israel as horrific people.  There are so many arrogant people in the world who do not understand the plight of the Jews or the history of the State of Israel.  But on the other side of the coin, there are those who want to build the Third Temple on the Temple Mount, thus destroying Muslim Holy Sites.  There are those that want there to be a 1-State solution resulting in the displacement of the entire Palestinian population living in Israel, the West Bank and Gaza or a 1-State solution resulting in the displacement of the entirety of Israel.  

There are extremes on both sides that are very scary.

2. This option is the more difficult one, but it is the one in which you stay out of the conversation because your spirit is more important than their ignorance. But for some people who are extreme, this may have to be the answer unfortunately.

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Why is learning Hebrew important?  Where can I learn Hebrew?

Hebrew is the ancient language of the Jewish people.  Not only is it a language of the State of Israel, but also the Hebrew Bible, Jewish prayer and much of Jewish literature.  Once you begin learning Hebrew, you begin to unlock the meaning behind who we are as a people.

·       How to learn Hebrew (MyJewishLearning)

Beginner

·       Hebrew letter chart

·       Learning how to write the Hebrew Alphabet

·       Cartoon Hebrew Letters (fun resource for learning your letters)

·       Hebrew vowels

·       Learn how to read Hebrew online

·       The Aleph Beit Song (Debbie Friedman)

Advanced

·       Duolingo now has Hebrew!

·       Hebrew Learning Masterpost

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What is Birthright and how can I sign up?

Birthright is a free, 10-day trip to Israel for young adults between the ages of 18 and 26.  On the trip, participants have a chance to explore the country while also understanding their Jewish identities as emerging Jewish adults.  Almost all Birthright trips go to the following locations:  the Old City of Jerusalem and the Western Wall, Yad Vashem- Israel’s memorial of the Holocaust, Tel Aviv, the Mystical City of Tzfat, Masada, and the Golan Heights.

Participants for Birthright trips must have at least one Jewish birth parent, was raised Jewish or must have had a formal conversion through one of the major Jewish denominations.

According to their website:

The Birthright Israel gift is open to all Jewish* young adults, ages 18 to 26 who have not participated on a peer educational trip since they turned 18 nor lived in Israel past the age of 12.*Eligible individuals are those who identify as Jewish and are recognized as such by their local community or by one of the recognized denominations of Judaism. Applicants must also have at least one Jewish birth parent, or have completed Jewish conversion through a recognized Jewish denomination. PLEASE NOTE: Those applying for trips leaving from the Former Soviet Union are eligible if they have at least one Jewish birth grandparent. The accuracy of information pertaining to the heritage of an applicant for a trip leaving from the Former Soviet Union is also verified by a local Consul before an applicant is considered eligible.            

If you would like to read some more Frequently Asked Questions, please feel free to check this page out.      

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What expenses does Birthright cover?

Birthright covers everything: a round-trip flight, two meals per day, museum fees etc.

The real question is: what do will you need to pay for? (btw it is all completely worth it!

There is a $250 refundable deposit (upon return to the states)

You will have to pay for 1 meal per day (typically around $10-$15). The only exception is on Shabbat.

Money for souvenirs

Money for snacks and extra food

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Can converts take advantage of Birthright?

Yep!  Assuming they have finished their conversion by the trip and are between the ages of 18-26, a Jew-by-Choice is eligible!

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I’m thinking about conversion.  Where do I begin?

Before contacting a rabbi, I would personally explore and learn as much as you can.  One of the best books on conversion is:  “Choosing a Jewish Life” by Anita Diamant.  There are several free resources online that I highly recommend checking out as well (below).  As always, please feel free to ask me as many questions as you might have.

·         “10 Things to Know Before Conversion”

·       Some recommended reading    

·       “Branches of Judaism”

·       “A Brief History of the Jewish People”      

·       How to pick a Hebrew name

·       When can I call myself a Jew?

·       How do I convert officially?

·       What does a Rabbi expect a convert to know before converting?

·       There isn’t a Synagogue near me, what do I do?

·       What is Reform Judaism?

·       “What to Expect at a Reform Shabbat Service”  

·       A non-Jew attending Shabbat Services

·       Various advice on Conversion

·       How can I convert if I don’t agree with the government of Israel?

·       LGBTQ people in the Reform Movement

·       Conversion for a non-binary person

If you send me a direct message, I would love to help you further with locating a Synagogue to begin conversations with a rabbi or cantor who can help guide you.

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Are Jewish communities welcoming to converts?

Absolutely.  Not only are we welcoming, but we do not see a difference between a person born a Jew and a person who converted.  If anything, we are in awe of the passion and love for Judaism that our convert friends have!

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About how long does it take to convert?

Although every community is different, it will typically take someone anywhere between a year and two years in the Progressive world.

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Where can I learn about the different branches of Judaism?

  Modern Orthodox (The Orthodox Union)

  Conservative Judaism (The United Synagogue for Conservative Judaism)

  Reconstructionist Judaism

  Reform Judaism (The Union for Reform Judaism)

The World Union for Progressive Judaism (representing all Reform and Reconstructionist Congregations around the world)

“ReformJudaism.org” is a fabulous resource

Religious Action Center, the “social justice hub” of the Reform Movement

  Humanistic Judaism

  Jewish Renewal

[tastebudstalk-blog1]

Sweet Spot Sunday

Today, we met with Quasia Elle.  She chose a spot that wasn’t exactly easy to find, but what a diamond in the rough.  I gifted her a pocket sized journal that I wrapped in pink tissue paper.  I concluded pink was her favorite color based on her Tumblr and hoped my lurk skills didn’t fail me now.  Dressed in all black with a camouflage dad hat that read A Tribe Called Quest, I must admit her presence made me nervous.  It’s not anything she said or did, but as awkward as she was looking for me without much needed corrective lenses, she presented a confidence I hadn’t experienced in awhile.  

TB:  Where did you get your hat from?  Supa fly.

Quasia Elle:  If I tell you, I have to kill you.  And killing you after you’ve given me this awesome gift is just rude (laughs). 

TB: So, why this place?

Quasia Elle: I have a serious sweet tooth.  Like, I should probably go to some sort of addictions counseling, but there’s so much comfort and peace in bake shops and great quality desserts.  The Little Cupcake Bakeshop is no different.  It took awhile, but I finally found a place that offers icing as good as the cake.  I had to bring you here.  There’s also an amazing bookstore right next door, You shouldn’t visit one without the other.

TB: What book(s) are you currently reading?

Quasia Elle: I always reference Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill when I feel myself slipping.  It’s a guidebook about the manifestation of money.  An ex’s mom blessed me for Christmas a few years ago, literally changed my life.  I’m also reading a witty, biography/ reference book by Anne Lamott called Bird by Bird.  This was suggested by an English teacher I met on a bus from upstate to NYC.  Great read for writers, specifically.  What are you reading?

TB: I tend to continuously go back to A Rose That Grew From The Concrete by Tupac.  The more my knowledge of Black American history and Hip Hop expands, the more I feel I understand him and can carry out his primary messages for the culture.  My current read is The Jungle by Upton Sinclair.  This one is contextually accurate considering Trump’s beef with immigrants.  If you’ve read this book, I just gave a top ten pun of the year (laughs).

Quasia Elle:  Oh my God, I’m coming out of the ocean because you need to stop (laughs).  The Jungle is one of my favorite books of all time.  Gave a book report about it in AP Literature in high school.  Thinking back on it, I amazed myself at how well I articulated certain things from a book that wasn’t read all the way through at the time. 

TB: What do you suggest for me to try, considering this is my first time here?

Quasia Elle: I’m a creature of habit, so probably the wrong one to suggest, BUT, i’m confident in this spot enough to say, Russian roulette!  You’ll be fine (laughs). The classics, vanilla bean and red velvet, are really good, and I’ve heard good things about the unorthodox of blue velvet and princess dream.  Mad cute.  Logically speaking, you don’t want to pay $3 for one cupcake, but it’s Brooklyn.  When in Rome...

TB: When did your sweet tooth addiction start?

Quasia Elle:  I’ve always enjoyed sweets, my Mee-Mee has a bunch of traditions that include them especially during the holidays.  But when I realized I had no self control was while studying for finals at Alabama.  I bought a dozen of Krispy Kreme donuts, juiced up on espresso, and found myself finishing 12 donuts in 6 hours.

TB: That sounds eventful.  Would you say you have any other addictions?

Quasia Elle:  Does being in love count?

TB:  Elaborate.

Quasia Elle:  They say chocolate and love release similar endorphins.  Whatever chemically happening, correlating the two, I lose my shit over.

TB: Are you in love right now?

Quasia Elle:  I am.  Although we’re separated, he will always deserve my love.  He’s one of the best human beings I’ve ever met.  For the sake of my productivity, I can’t dwell in the confusion of it all.  What’s meant to be, already is.

TB: What do you mean by confusion?

Quasia Elle:  I think that deep down, we all know exactly what we want to do with love.  Whether that’s moving in together, or simply asking someone out on the first date.  But, we choose to sit in confusion, wasting time, thinking God is going to visit us in our dreams to say, “Now’s the time Daniel.”  It just doesn’t happen that way.  You have to take control of your own life and pray God provides the resources, standing as confirmation.  Take a chance on your happiness, being scary only limits your life experiences.

TB: Would you say these are unhealthy addictions?  Sweets and love?

Quasia Elle: An addiction is unhealthy in its form by definition.  Too much of anything can kill you, so yes.  They’re extremely unhealthy.  But I fast them, amongst other things, to keep myself in check and aligned with God.

TB:  You mind talking about God?  You’ve referenced Him twice in a row.

Quasia Elle:  Because that’s my best friend, go best friend (laughs).  What is it you want to know about our relationship exactly?

TB: Well, how do you know He’s real and what religion do you identify with?

Quasia Elle:  Because I see Him in you, this moment.  I see Him in my family and friends that never let me fall, and the only thing that has kept me from leaving this world prematurely, or before His calling, is Him. I don’t necessarily identify with a religion, per-say, but I have a tattoo that says “Israelite”.  I don’t believe in Jews and Gentiles in physical form, everything is spiritual to me.  So, as an Israelite, spiritually, I fight and prevail with God.  That’s the biblical definition for how Jacob was renamed Israel after his fight with an angel for his blessing.

TB: What would you say to an Atheist? 

Quasia Elle:  Well, like my Mee-Mee told me, “If judgement day comes and this is all a hoax I have nothing to lose.  But if that day comes and this is in fact real, and I chose not to believe in anything, I have EVERYTHING to lose.”  Stay thirsty my friends.

TB: Speaking of grandparents, they definitely grew up in a time period quite different from ours.  They seem more in tune with family, nature, the “simpler things”, if you will.  Why do you think this generation lacks those appreciations?

Quasia Elle:  We have a lot more distractions, a lot more falsely prioritized, priorities, if that makes any sense.  A lot of us have anxiety after we post a photo, a short fused superficial gratification.  It’s just not healthy for anyone’s mental or emotional state.  But we keep going back.  It’s an abusive relationship.  While we’ve advanced in areas like medicine and communication because of it, I think we’ve also fallen short the same way.

TB: Are you making a general statement that millennials are pieces of shit? 

Quasia Elle:  (laughs) I mean, that’s unfair because there are always exceptions to any rule.  You do have people balancing the real world and the matrix, very healthily.  I’m just saying it’s extremely hard to find, myself included.  I study my Twitter feed.  I’m not being creepy, but majoring in Psychology starts odd habits.  I see how people talk to and about one another, how everyone’s defense mechanism is inhumanly joking or being angry.  And the more you submerge yourself in it, the more you take on that energy.  I swear I hate going on social when tragic events have happened.  It’s disheartening.  We lack kindness and community, something generations before us had to have because of societal and political reforming.  We’re spoiled.  Trump is the first negative impact we have to directly deal with as adults, like seriously.  That’s not just a millennial trait though, people are screwed up.  But, you have this entity, the Internet, that just harnesses, and provokes this dark energy.  And it’s hard to pull away from.  It’s a Siren (if you guys are familiar with Mythology).  It’s mad scary.     

TB: You said you went to UAB?

Quasia Elle:  This is your second time trying to die during this interview (laughs).  I went to THE University of Alabama.  Roll Tide.

TB:  What does that mean?

Quasia Elle: Literally anything you need it to mean.  YouTube the ESPN Roll Tide commercial, circa 2010.

TB:  How was your college experience there?

Quasia Elle:  The best moments and accomplishments of my life.  I attended a small school before I transferred there though, Clayton State University.  But, it wasn’t enough of an experience for me.  I used to watch those corny 90′s- 00′s movies that were located on big campuses, How High is my all time favorite reference for that.  I claimed something I wanted, and my experience was exactly what I thought it would be like.  Not to mention I met lifelong friends that have the illest Birmingham accents.  I love country dialect.        

TB: One last question... what is your definition of success, as if you’re speaking to someone who looks up to you or someone simply looking for guidance?

Quasia Elle: Success is happiness and financial freedom, by the standards of your lifestyle.  It’s one hundred and ten percent subjective.  Be practical, first and foremost.  You have bills to pay, please don’t relinquish good standing in credit by the notion of “for the art.”  Even if you’re couching it somewhere I pray you have a safe box with 50% of your savings, the other 50 is in a savings account that is extremely easy for you to deposit, but difficult to withdraw from.  Write out your goals, a million times over until your spirit is so drawn to what you’ve manifested, that you truly understand sacrifice to get it.  And be conscious of the time.  As Ray Lewis said, “How much time you gone waste?  Every decision you make you gotta ask, does this decision influence where I’m ultimately trying to go?”  

TB:  Well then, Roll Tide.

Quasia Elle ordered a red velvet cupcake and homemade vanilla ice cream.  I tried the personal cheesecake.  We talked a bit more about politics, sports, her tiny home obsession, and this library she’s building in hopes of dramatically dying by her right of knowledge like in Fahrenheit 451.  How she wants to make sure her nephew doesn’t end up in prison like his father, and how being the best of every title is her goal.  She takes extreme pride in being a sister, (best) friend, daughter, cousin, employee, employer, and wherever else she can find purpose by service.  She truly believes she is only placed here to service other people, and in that finds extreme happiness.  She also mentioned that her mother is in need of a second kidney transplant, so although a huge request to ask, if anyone is willing or knows of someone willing, please reach out.

She is a timid spirit, yet full of hope and laughter.  She has experienced traumatic pain, but somehow finds her way back to the surface.  Her current works include a blog that “redefines success and highlights vulnerability to create a culture of healing and healers.”  She titles it Taste, Buds and I’m excited to see where she goes in her writing career and encourage others to watch, support, and reach out to her as well.    

The Little Cupcake Bakeshop is located in Brooklyn, at 9102 3rd Ave.  There are other locations, but this was the one specifically chosen.  It’s open late, 11pm,  for that “late night fix” and I quote our addict.

[eirenical]

Brick Club ‘17 – Chapters 1.1.1-1.1.5; I admire a man with chutzpah.

(...jfc, if you had any idea how much trouble this post gave me. *glares at tumblr*  I HAD TO REWRITE IT FOUR TIMES and between times 3 and 4, Kaspersky randomly decided that Firefox shouldn’t load any websites.  ANY.  NOT EVEN GOOGLE.  ARGH.  But I’m OK, now, and I’m going to retype this again for the (HOPEFULLY) last time.)

The first thing I have to say about these chapters is that I absolutely adore the Bishop.  Anyone who follows me knows that Courfeyrac is my absolute favorite of favorites in all of Les Mis, but Feuilly and the Bishop tie for second place.  And this is the reason why: The Bishop is a classic representation of what it is to have chutzpah.  

Merriam-Webster defines chutzpah as “supreme self-confidence: nerve, gall” and that’s part of it, and is what it’s come to mean in English usage, but that’s not the whole truth.  I’m going to borrow something now from an article on chabad.org by Tzvi Freeman:

So what is chutzpah? It’s a kind of acosmic attitude, as though there’s nothing really there stopping you from doing whatever you want.

That’s why chutzpah can be real bad and chutzpah can be real good. Bad chutzpah is something we all know about. But good chutzpah is one of the first rules of behavior cited in the Shulchan Aruch—the classic codification of Jewish Law. Citing the words of the Mishnah, “Be fierce as a leopard,” the code tells us that this means that when you go about doing all those Jewish things that Jews do, you shouldn’t feel the slightest embarrassment before those who ridicule you. You don’t have to call them names, you don’t have to react at all. Just keep on doing what you have to do as though they don’t exist. […]

So, to be a good Jew, you need two opposites: A sense of shame that prevents you from acting with chutzpah to do the wrong thing, and a sense of chutzpah that prevents you from being ashamed to do the right thing.

The Bishop is very clearly not a Jew, but this is such a Jewish thing that he does: unashamedly doing the right thing, in spite of ridicule, standing up to people who look down at him from on high and not only assuming equality, but daring to encourage them to use his behavior as an example do better.  He is who he is, he knows what is the right thing to do, and he’s just going to go about his business and do it, no matter what you think.  That is chutzpah, and that is my Bishop.

And now, below the cut, I will give you some of my more specific thoughts on each chapter.  ^_^

I’m not going to go over each of these chapters in much detail, because, to be honest, it’s too much and I could probably spend 20 pages babbling, and I don’t think anyone wants that.  So, I’ve tried to stick with picking one (or two) thing(s) in each chapter to talk about to avoid making this ridiculously long.

1.1.1

The thing that always strikes me out of this chapter is that I desperately want the story of Myriel before he became a priest.  Because that transformation from well-born, well-to-do, charming and yet somewhat debauched man to the Bishop we know in Digne?  That fascinates me.  In there lies a story just as complex and interesting as Valjean’s own and I want to hear it.  I want to know more about this man who gleefully looked Napoleon in the eye and punned at him.  I want to know more.  I would gladly read another 1200 page novel on him.  And that’s honestly my biggest problem with Les Mis in a nutshell.  Even the minor, minor background characters are so richly created that I want to know more about them.  It’s a problem.

[Side note: I forgot how frustrating Hapgood’s handling of puns is.  She misses just about every one.  Or maybe the way she translated them just doesn’t translate into modern English, but, either way, it’s super frustrating.  I can FEEL the lead-up to the pun (Hugo sets them all up pretty obviously, especially for the Bishop’s puns) and then where the joke would be it just… falls flat.  :P  I found myself rifling through my FMA and my Donougher to see if they were handled any better there, and @pilferingapples, I gotta say, I’m tempted to flop over to Donougher every time there’s a pun because she did a MUCH better job with the few I checked.  Did you find the same?]

Anyway, the other thing I need to mention about 1.1.1 is this: Myriel is “advanced in years and living in a very retired manner.”  His sister, Baptistine, who is 10 YEARS HIS JUNIOR, is “an elderly spinster????”  And let’s not forget this hot mess:

Mademoiselle Baptistine was a long, pale, thin, gentle creature; she realized the ideal expressed by the word “respectable”; for it seems that a woman must needs be a mother in order to be venerable. She had never been pretty; her whole life, which had been nothing but a succession of holy deeds, had finally conferred upon her a sort of pallor and transparency; and as she advanced in years she had acquired what may be called the beauty of goodness. What had been leanness in her youth had become transparency in her maturity; and this diaphaneity allowed the angel to be seen. She was a soul rather than a virgin. Her person seemed made of a shadow; there was hardly sufficient body to provide for sex; a little matter enclosing a light; large eyes forever drooping;— a mere pretext for a soul’s remaining on the earth.

Hugo, Victor. Les Miserables (Xist Classics) (Kindle Locations 483-489). Signet. Kindle Edition.

Hugo… NO.  WHAT ARE YOU DOING.  PLEASE, STOP.  JUST… STOP.  OTZ

(That being said, “diaphaneity” is a pretty great word.  Did you make that one up, Hapgood?  I may have to find an excuse to use that.  ;D)

1.1.2

“Hold, Monsieur the director of the hospital, I will tell you something. There is evidently a mistake here. There are thirty-six of you, in five or six small rooms. There are three of us here, and we have room for sixty. There is some mistake, I tell you; you have my house, and I have yours. Give me back my house; you are at home here.”

Hugo, Victor. Les Miserables (Xist Classics) (Kindle Locations 519-522). Signet. Kindle Edition.

CHUTZPAH.  XD

But, no, the thing I really want to talk about is this:

NOTE ON THE REGULATION OF MY HOUSEHOLD EXPENSES. For the little seminary … … … … . . 1,500 livres Society of the mission … … … … . . 100 “ For the Lazarists of Montdidier … … … . 100 “ Seminary for foreign missions in Paris … … 200 “ Congregation of the Holy Spirit … … … . 150 “ Religious establishments of the Holy Land … . . 100 “ Charitable maternity societies … … … . 300 “ Extra, for that of Arles … … … … . 50 “ Work for the amelioration of prisons … … . 400 “ Work for the relief and delivery of prisoners … 500 “ To liberate fathers of families incarcerated for debt 1,000 “ Addition to the salary of the poor teachers of the diocese … … … 2,000 “ Public granary of the Hautes-Alpes … … . . 100 “ Congregation of the ladies of D——, of Manosque, and of Sisteron, for the gratuitous instruction of poor girls … … … … … … . . 1,500 “ For the poor … … … … … … . 6,000 “ My personal expenses … … … … … 1,000 “ Total … … … … … … . . 15,000 “

Hugo, Victor. Les Miserables (Xist Classics) (Kindle Locations 526-541). Signet. Kindle Edition

EXPENSES OF CARRIAGE AND CIRCUIT. For furnishing meat soup to the patients in the hospital. 1,500 livres For the maternity charitable society of Aix … … . 250 “ For the maternity charitable society of Draguignan … 250 “ For foundlings … … … … … … … 500 “ For orphans … … … … … … … . 500 “ ——- Total … … … … … … … . . 3,000 “

Hugo, Victor. Les Miserables (Xist Classics) (Kindle Locations 568-573). Signet. Kindle Edition..

The thing that strikes me about this bit on the household expenses is how absolutely clearly Hugo saw that society had to be improved from the bottom up.  I mean, just LOOK at some of these stuff!  Education of the poor, education of women, straight up money to just give to the poor, women, and orphans, proper nutrition for the sick, prison reform, returning the wage earner to families whose wage earners were in debtor’s prison.  I mean, LOOK AT THAT.  Can you imagine how much it would improve the life of the working class if we had bishops across the world doing this?  Taking government money and applying it where it will actually do the most good?  Hugo had some revolutionary ideas; that’s fact.  But, the idea that even the poorest among us, even those who have committed crimes, deserve mercy and a basic living wage?   That’s an idea that’s still revolutionary TODAY.  And it makes me angry… and sad.  We should be doing better.  We NEED to do better.

1.1.3

Good gravy, the bit about the donkey.  XD  CHUTZPAH, AGAIN.  See?  This is why I love the Bishop.  ^_^

Anyway, another thing that struck me in this chapter was how the Bishop teaches mostly by examples and models.  We literally just had a huge class discussion in my doctoral program about that the other day.  A good example, or a good model, is worth more than any amount of polished or wordy language.  It’s yet another case of a picture being worth 1000 words.  Hugo, via the Bishop, being ahead of his time, yet again.

1.1.4

I am NOT getting into the capital punishment discussion.  I’m just not up for that tonight.  :P

So, instead, here’s a discussion of mishandled puns and translation fails.

Madame Magloire liked to call him Your Grace [Votre Grandeur]. One day he rose from his arm-chair, and went to his library in search of a book. This book was on one of the upper shelves. As the bishop was rather short of stature, he could not reach it. "Madame Magloire," said he, "fetch me a chair. My greatness [grandeur] does not reach as far as that shelf."

Hugo, Victor. Les Misérables (English language) (Kindle Locations 442-444). Public Domain Books. Kindle Edition.

This is honestly one of my favorite puns in the whole book.  It’s such a dad joke.  ^_^  Unfortunately, in Hapgood’s translation, it falls a little flat.  It’s clear what the joke is in French (the play on grandeur) thanks to the [notes], but in English it doesn’t entirely work.  The fact that I have to rely on the original French to get the joke leaves me feeling like she could have done a better job on that.  So, just for shits and giggles, I checked Donougher to see what she did with it.  She seemed to do a better job at translating the pun:

Madame Magloire liked to call him ‘Your Highness’. One day he rose from his armchair and went to his bookcase to fetch a book. This book was on one of the top shelves. As the bishop was rather small in stature he could not reach it. ‘Madame Magloire,’ he said, ‘bring me a chair. My Highness falls short of that shelf.’

Hugo, Victor. The Wretched (Clothbound Classics) (p. 13). Penguin Books Ltd. Kindle Edition.

It may not be an exact word-for-word translation, but I feel like it captures the spirit of the pun just a bit better.  So, kudos to you, Donougher.  Point in your favor.

Here’s the other translation gaffe:

"I am thinking," replied the Bishop, "of a singular remark, which is to be found, I believe, in St. Augustine,—'Place your hopes in the man from whom you do not inherit.'"

Hugo, Victor. Les Misérables (English language) (Kindle Locations 451-452). Public Domain Books. Kindle Edition.

vs.

‘I’m thinking,’ replied the bishop, ‘of something curious to be found, I believe, in St Augustine: “Place your hope in him who has no successor.” ’

Hugo, Victor. The Wretched (Clothbound Classics) (p. 14). Penguin Books Ltd. Kindle Edition.

And FMA translates it even differently than that but I think made it sound even more like he’s referencing G-d?  When I climb out from under my cat, I’ll double check that, but the point stands--Hapgood’s translation is clearly talking about a person and Donougher’s is talking about G-d.  I’m, ironically, more likely to trust Donougher’s translation there just because it sounds much more like something the Bishop would say and because the set-up feels like the lead-in to a pun and Donougher is clearly better at handling those.

Now, that being said, I have no idea which of these interpretations is actually more correct.  My French is DEFINITELY not at the level of translating Hugo puns.  But for anyone with better French who may wish to take a stab at it...

—Je songe, dit l'évêque, à quelque chose de singulier qui est, je crois, dans saint Augustin: «Mettez votre espérance dans celui auquel on ne succède point.»

Hugo, Victor. Les misérables Tome I Fantine (French Edition) (Kindle Locations 255-256).  . Kindle Edition.

It doesn’t LOOK like there’s a pun hiding in that French, but again... not an expert by any stretch.  :P

1.1.5

(IN THE HOME STRETCH.)

I... actually have nothing to say about this chapter?  Other than that I’m picturing this little Bishop running about town, attracting a mini-parade everywhere he goes with little children cavorting around him and it’s the most precious thing.  ^____^

OK, one last translation amusement because it’s directly related:

Here and there he halted, accosted the little boys and girls, and smiled upon the mothers.

Hugo, Victor. Les Miserables (p. 28). HarperCollins Canada. Kindle Edition.

vs.

He would stop here and there, talk to the little boys and girls and smile at their mothers.

Hugo, Victor. The Wretched (Clothbound Classics) (p. 20). Penguin Books Ltd. Kindle Edition.

But this is the best part, because my French is good enough for this, I think:

Çà et là, il s'arrêtait, parlait aux petits garçons et aux petites filles et souriait aux mères.

Hugo, Victor. Les misérables Tome I Fantine (French Edition) (Kindle Locations 381-382).  . Kindle Edition.

“PARLAIT” IS PRETTY CLEAR, HAPGOOD, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? XD 

Although, to be fair, I’m pretty sure she meant the type of “accosted” where like... adults make monster faces and “chase” the little kids around until the kids turn the tables and chase them.  And the idea of the Bishop doing that is SUCH a perfect image to close this week’s reading on that I think I’ll forgive it, this once.  ^_~

Tune in next week for chapters 1.1.6-1.1.10!

[docholligay]

EIGHT DAYS OF CONTENT WINNERS AND EPISODE/STUFF NOMINATION

Hello my little acorns, safely stored in the ground by the squirrels of fate! It is time to reveal ALL...both the Eight Days schedule and THE WINNERS! But also, time to nominate episodes! And content! 

HERE WE GO! 

Monday, December 23rd, Animation Day One

PRINCESS TUTU! Starting from the beginning of episode four, six hours of magical ballerina anime fairytale wherein I scream about Mytho is wallpaper paste and Rue is valid. 

Tuesday, December 24th, Sailor Moon Day

SUPER S SPECIAL! I cannot wait to laugh all over again about fucking Michiru and the wine pouring, she is the worst and I love her so much. 

A VERY JEWEY CHRISTMAS starring Me, Momigay, and The Christmas prince. We’re going to get fucking wasted, have Chinese food delivered (Via Santa Nickels and her Subaru Sleigh) and stream A Christmas Prince 3: The Royal Baby. I GUARANTEE WE ARE MORE FUN THAN YOUR FAMILY UNLESS THEY ARE SUPER COOL. 

Wednesday, December 25th, Non-Animated Day One

THE GOOD PLACE! I am several seasons behind, so this should be interesting, but please nominate the episode you would like to see me do here. NOMINATIONS WILL BE OPEN UNTIL TOMORROW AFTERNOON, and then voting. (I may have to take a break for Young Jews Chinese Buffet, but I’ll return) 

Thursday, December 26th, Miscellaneous Day

HOLLIGAY COOKING DAY! An all day extravaganza devoted to all kinds of cooking stuff, depending on what you want to see! Answering cooking questions on tumblr? Streaming how to make something? Nominate your ideas HERE.

Friday, December 27th, Animation Day Two

A PLACE FURTHER THAN THE UNIVERSE! I know nothing about this anime and will be starting from episode one, which is always fun for me! Let’s find out what we’re in for! 

Saturday, December 28th, Non-Animated Day Two

GREAT BRITISH BAKE-OFF! It’s been a long long time since I’ve liveblogged bakeoff, BUT WE ALL REMEMBER ME SICCING THE BEES ON TOM. Nominate any episode from the Mel and Sue era (Otherwise it would be just hours of me talking about how fucking annoying I find Noel and I know many enjoy his stylings, so)  Nominate here! 

Sunday, December 29th, Utena Day

WAKABA FLOURISHING! Hours of me pouring over how much I fucking love Wakaba, and how Saionji is hilariously terrible, it will truly be a great day of all of us. (This day will start a bit early, as I have my fonjew party that night) 

Monday, December 30th, Wild Card Day! 

I will be drawing TWO things from the losers pile, and making them winners! I’ll spend three hours on one, and three on the other, so there’s still hope if your thing didn’t get through!! 

ARE YOU READY I HOPE YOU’RE READY!! It’s also my beloved Hanukkah Mercy season, when I get to use my Mercy icons!! I can’t wait to show them off again, and thank the artists who made them. 

[imagines-oneshots-hotspot-blog]

Terror in Amsterdam. {Doctor Who Fanfiction}

Ello! This is my first Fanfiction posted here on Tumblr, and I'm a bit proud of it. It stars two ocs- young naive Breana,!the unbeliever Caspian, and the Tenth Doctor. Enjoy! ••• The streets are silent, men in pairs march through these same streets, Nazi symbols on their fore arms. In the distance, shouting, as Jews are ripped out of their homes, separated by genders into small rickety carts. Wailing, screaming, and crying, fill the Amsterdam air. It is morning, and soon these streets will be full. Only, less Jews will join, fewer and fewer each day... In a nearby alley, a slight wheezing mechanical sound is heard. Old newspapers and flyers fly around as a gust of wind spins them around like a small tornado. Slowly, a blue police box materializes in the middle of such alley, scaring a grey alley cat. The box sits silent in the alley, an alley stained with mud, trash, and feces. The door swings open from the inside, a light skinned, dark haired young man poking his head out. Glasses hang on the tip of his nose, his eyes tired and bored. He sniffs the air, looking down at the floor, grimacing. "Lovely." The young man grunts, stepping outside, taking careful steps. "Outta the way!" Cries a young voice, a small girl leaping out of the curious blue box. She has long dark brown hair up in a ponytail, swishing behind her. Her eyes are large and brown, the perfect image of an innocent child. She slams down on the floor as she lands, splattering a mixture of mud and feces on the bored young man. He winces, flicking off the mixture from his jeans. "Are you serious? That's just nasty." He huffed, shuddering once. The girl smiled, placing her hands on her hips. "Oh shush Cassie, I'm sure the TARDIS has a washing machine... right?" She turns and gingerly pats the exterior of the police box. The box seems to hum in joy at the touch of the girl. She turns toward Caspian, pointing towards the TARDIS. "See- she says yes!" Caspian rolled his eyes, pushing his glasses up with the back of his wrist. "Yeah, yeah... Where's the Doctor anyway, shouldn't he be the first out here?" Caspian sniffed in distaste, stuffing his hands into his pockets. As if on cue, a man with gravity defying brown hair, wearing a blue suit with a crooked tie, walks out of the blue box, gently kicking the door closed with his converse shoe. "Right then! Sorry for the wait Cas, had to make sure the TARDIS here liked this ol' alley she was in!" He said, running his fingers through his spiked hair. Caspian raised an eyebrow. "She's a box." The Doctor and Breana gasped, the young ten year old even covering her mouth daintily. "She is not JUST a box! She's a living space ship with feelings like you and me!" Breana said, raising a skinny finger to point at Caspian. The Doctor smiled and patted Breana head. "Don't mind him Bre, he's a guy." He sniffed. "Are you implying that you aren't a male?" "I am one! Just not... A nasty clingy one!" Before Caspian could retaliate, a scream shook through the air, frightening little Breana. "Hear that?" He paused for a moment. "Sounds like a call for help! Allonzy!" Cried the Doctor, running out of the alley and towards where the scream had originated from. Breana giggled and sprinted after the Doctor, Caspian rolling his eyes once before racing after both of them. After pushing through crowds of men and women, eyeing the Nazi soldiers, and knocking over baskets of goods, they found a woman on her knees in the middle of the road. She had curly black hair, and wore a black dress. Her sad brown eyes were wide and filled with tears as she held up her hands to block a large cart filled to the brim with Jews. "P-Please! Don't take my family! They're all I have left! Please!" Wailed the woman as the Doctor pushed through the crowd, Breana holding onto his beige trench coat tightly, Caspian following quietly along. He had checked a newspaper, which had stated that this was Amsterdam, Netherlands. It said that today was July 31st, 1940. It is the midst of the Second World War, and this city is being occupied by Nazi's. Charming. They watched as the men holding the reins grimaced in disgust. He wore a band on his fore arm with the Nazi symbol. "Outta my way, filthy JEW!" Spat the man, spitting in the woman's face. This woman shrieked as if she had been struck, but held her ground. The man held up the reins, a spark of cruelty in his eyes as he prepared to snap the reins- and run the woman over with his horses. "STOP!" Yelled a voice from the crowd as the Doctor marched out, his eyes flaming in anger. Caspian followed after him nervously, Breana walking alongside him, with a face of determination. "Hello there, sorry to intervene-" Said the Doctor, flipping open the physic paper. "As you can see it says here that I am... uh..." The man gasped, his eyes widening as he fumbled with his reins. "G-General Officer John Smith! My apologies, sir!" The man scrambled from his seat at the wooden cart and did the traditional Nazi hand raised salute. The Doctor glanced at his physic paper and cleared his throat, nodding as he placed it back in his pocket. "Yes, at ease. Of course I am General Officer Smith. These are my two assistants, Breana and Caspian." The man spared a confused glance at the young 'assistant' but quickly averted it when the girl glared at him. "Now, why were you about to run over this splendid young woman? And what's with this cart? Not that I have anything against them, always love a good cart." The man cleared his throat, his arms stiff at his side. "Standard procedure General, I'm carting off these Jews to the... camps. This Jew is in the way of my cart, and any obstructions must be taken out." "Obstruction!? This 'Jew' is as human as the rest of you lot! We have new commands you Nazi- haven't you heard!? These Jews are NOT to be taken to the camps! But to the nearest train station!Snapped the Doctor. The man blinked in confusion once, stuttering. "B-But, I haven't heard of such a..." "You DARE to question the great Hitler!?" "N-No! Right away G-General!" The man said, shaking with wide eyes. "Now off with you! Goodbye! Adios! Mára mesta!" The Doctor said, waving his hand as he walked towards the woman, crouching down on one knee in front of her. Breana crouched next to him, tilting her head. The man nodded and crawled onto the cart, snapping the reins as he turned the cart and headed down the street. "Mára mesta?" Breana asked confused, glancing over at him. "It's elvish." Whispered the Doctor as Caspian decided to join the pair. "Are you hurt?" Breana asked gently, tilting her head. The woman looked up, sniffling as she shook her head. "N-Not physically, my child... But emotionally? Yes." She whispered, staring solemnly into her hands. The Doctor held out a hand and smiled. "Don't worry, we'll get your family back." The woman glared at the Doctor, slapping his hand. "You? A Nazi?! You have just sent my husband and children to the concentration camps!" The Doctors eyes widened as he tried to explain himself. Caspian cleared his throat and held up a finger. "If I may intervene, Mrs, we are not Nazi's. Actually, far from it. We are travelers, from America, Britain, and... Ah..." Caspian said, not allowing himself to say he was from Germany Austria. "We're here to help Mrs." Breana smiled, clasping her hands together. "This is the Doctor, he just pretended to be a Nazi to save your life!" The woman sniffles quietly, wiping her tears from her eyes. "Oh... really?" Breana nodded, her eyes shining. "Yup! And he's made a promise to save your family, and he NEVER breaks his promises!" She said cheerfully. The woman smiled softly as Caspian helped her up. "What's your name?" Asked The Doctor, his hands in his pockets. "Ruth. Ruth Lewinsky." The Doctor grinned, taking out his silver and blue sonic screwdriver. "Well Ruth Lewinsky of Amsterdam, Netherlands, Earth! Let's go and save your family. Allonzy!" He cried, running off down the street. Breana took the hand of Ruth and smiled up at her. Ruth looked down at her and sighed. "Are you sure he is sane?" "No." Caspian said, face bored once more as he walked after the Doctor. "Most of the times, he is." Breana said, glaring after Caspian. "He just says a lot of stuff that no one understands." Breana giggled, skipping along the old cobblestone streets. Ruth sighed in worry, her hand curling around a Star of David golden necklace. She had just put her trust into a nine year old, a teenage student, and a mad man with odd words. And yet- she knew things would end well. Hope had finally smiled down at her, and she was thankful for that.